Parenting teens and young adults are challenging, can I get a witness? I just thought parenting little people was tough, but that was the easy job. Little people want to please and pretty much do what you tell them to do, but when they get older and can make choices for themselves, it gets much trickier to navigate as a parent. I don’t claim to have all the answers, and I can’t give you a guaranteed formula that works.

Start Early -Parenting older kids really begins when they are very young. Teach your child to walk with the Lord at a very early age. Establish boundaries and be consistent. Show them love and respect. Teach them right from wrong, and model for them how to walk. Children are far more likely to do what they see us do, then do what we tell them to do.

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.– Proverbs 22:6

Open Communication– How well do you really know your kids? Do you know what has the affections of your young person’s heart? Do you have their heart? Do they share their hearts with you?

Keeping lines of communication open with your young people is of the utmost importance. Our kids need to know that they can trust us with their thoughts, feelings, and emotions without judgment. Keeping lines of communication open is critical. When our eldest son was in college he lived at home with us and commuted to the University. Since young people are night owls, this made for many late night conversations, but these conversations were critical. Our kids need to know that they can come to us.

Keeping lines of communication open is critical. When our eldest son was in college he lived at home with us and commuted to the University, and this made for many late night conversations, but these conversations were critical. Our kids need to know that they can come to us when they have problems, need counsel or make mistakes.

Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. – Proverbs 4:23

Be Involved – We have to be involved in their lives. Life is hectic, and we can get caught up in living, but we can’t just go on auto-pilot with them as they grow. We need to know who their friends with and what their character is like. We become most like those we hang around with, so we need to help them choose their friends wisely.

Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.” – 1 Corinthians 15:33 ESV

In the digital age, it is essential to know how they spend their time online, and you need to make sure that you are monitoring those activities carefully. Know who they are associated with, what app’s they are using, and where they are spending their time online and how much time they are spending inline. Limiting use and making course corrections over time as needed.

Wisdom for Parenting Teens and Young Adults-2

Pray without Ceasing – This goes without saying but is probably the most important thing we can do for our teens and young adults. The enemy would like nothing more than to deceive our kids. He is cunning and sneaky and attacks us at our weakest moments. Covering our children in prayer at every age is vital, especially when they beginning driving or as they fly from the nest. It is an honor and privilege to pray for our children, and one we should not take for granted.

It is an honor and privilege to pray for our children, and one we should not take for granted. Pray bold specific prayers for your kids, and keep them continually covered in prayer.

Rejoice always,  pray without ceasing,  give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. – Thessalonians 5:16-18 ESV

Let Go – Let go and let God. Once we have done our job, it is time for us to release them to the Lord’s care. This is a lot easier said than done, but it is the natural order of things.

I wrote about this in a previous post,  Learning to Let Go,  I wrote, “How do you love them with every fiber of your being and then simply just let go? By entrusting them to the care of Jesus. I will always be their mother, and no matter how old they are, they will always be my little boys, but I need to let them go so that they can become the men God created them to be.”

Raising productive responsible young adults really begins by training them from a very young age in how they should walk, it requires us to keep open lines of communication and be available to talk to them at all hours of the day and night. Continually monitoring and involvement in their lives while they are living under our roofs, so that we can make corrections before they drift too far afield. Then when we have done all that we can do to raise them well, we fervently pray for them and let go and entrust them to Jesus.

Posted by Misty Phillip

By His Grace: Seek Jesus, Study the Word, Grow in Grace Bible Study Author, Christian Lifestyle Blogger, & Speaker www.MistyPhillip.com

27 Comments

  1. I have one daughter married, one son at college, another son graduating high school and my last daughter a sophomore in HS; at the same time I have parents who are aging and needing care. It’s a weird place to be with children who don’t need you so much and parents who do. Definitely changing responsibilities and the need for flexibility. I appreciate your advice and insight here. Thanks for the post!

    Reply

    1. Misty Phillip 03/01/2018 at 2:20 pm

      Hi! Karen, my eldest son is married, my middle is 19, and my youngest is a sophomore. I remember when I was taking care of kids and parents at the same time, those were difficult days. Now both my parents and my husband’s parents have gone on to be with the Lord. My guys do t need me as much, and we do t grand babies yet! It is definitely an interesting time in life. Glad you enjoyed this post blessings to you in this journey. 💕

      Reply

  2. Great advice! We don’t have kids yet but are praying about when to start a family. Bookmarking this one for when we do!

    Reply

    1. Misty Phillip 03/01/2018 at 2:14 pm

      Hey Lauren, Thanks so much!! Blessings to you and your new ministry!! 💕

      Reply

  3. “By entrusting them to the care of Jesus.” Who loves my kids more than God? Even still, it can be hard to let go, especially when letting go means they now have the free will to do whatever they want.

    So far we are 1 out of 3 that have maintained their faith in the God of the Bible. The other two? After 5 years of Bible college, our middle guy became an atheist. The youngest is leaning Buddhist and becoming a Yogi.

    Are you serious Lord? They were raised as PK’s (pastor’s kids) and we often fight negative thoughts about how we raised our boys.

    But ultimately we do trust the Lord. We know He loves them more perfectly than we can. They are really great guys in the flesh… maybe that’s the problem. SO we pray a hard prayer. “Lord, whatever it take, bring them to the end of themselves and show them the way home to you.”

    Love Never Fails!

    >Scott

    Reply

    1. Misty Phillip 03/01/2018 at 7:29 pm

      Hey Scott,

      You are right, the letting go is so hard!!

      You and your wife are great parents for battling it out in spiritual realm on behalf of your guys in prayer!! Continue to fight the good fight in faith!!

      I wrote a post about praying hard prayers for our kids. You may want to check it out.

      https://mistyphillip.com/2017/05/22/if-pain-is-what-it-takes/

      Blessings to you and your wife as you love, and pray for your boys to return to Jesus!

      Thanks so much for joining in the conversation here today! 😊
      Misty

      Reply

  4. Awesome wisdom and thoughts, Misty! Love this line and tweet, “Our kids need to know that they can trust us with their thoughts, feelings, and emotions without judgment.” Amen!

    Reply

    1. Misty Phillip 03/01/2018 at 7:20 pm

      Hey Karen! Thanks so much! Blessings to you today!! 💕 Misty

      Reply

  5. Donna Miller 03/01/2018 at 4:43 pm

    This was sweet and awesome all at the same time! Our kids need to know we are invested in them. At the same time, letting them have the freedom to share their feelings and thoughts without us judging them is so important in their growth! TY for this wisdom filled post! ❤

    Reply

    1. Misty Phillip 03/01/2018 at 7:18 pm

      Hi! Donna, It is definitely a balance that we walk with wisdom and instruction, allowing them to fail and make mistakes but being there to pick them up when they fall, which requires loves, grace and a lot of prayer! Thanks for joining in this conversation today!! ❤️

      Reply

  6. Amen, friend. Beautiful words of wisdom and encouragement. And, prayer…that’s what gets me through! Love the gift of community with our older children. Thanks for sharing, Misty. xoxo

    Reply

    1. Misty Phillip 03/01/2018 at 7:16 pm

      A wise woman once told me to wear my knees out in prayer for my boys, and I would have to agree!! Me too, I love having adult children and look forward to the reward of grandchildren one day!! 🌸 May Jesus shine on you today friend! 💕

      Reply

  7. Wonderful wisdom Misty! I think the “letting them go” and entrusting them to the savior, is the hardest. At least for me.
    I agree with all of your tips. Communication being key! And prayer being an absolute necessity!
    I have 8 children of my own. 2 adults, a high schooler, 4 in elementary, and one baby. I pray A LOT!! 😉
    Great post!

    Reply

    1. Misty Phillip 03/02/2018 at 8:21 am

      Hi! Rachel, I would agree with you and about the letting go being the hardest part. We grow this tiny human in belly then care for and nurture them all through out their life and then we are just supposed to let go!! It is by far the hardest part to me too!!

      Blessings to you and your sweet family! Misty

      Reply

  8. Such good wisdom. I hear mothers say raising small children is hard. And it is, but I usually give a little giggle inside. Because yup, raising teens is a whole new challenge and harder. It is like doing 3rd grade math and then high school math. And I am finding my teen boy is harder because I can’t get in his mind as much as I could my daughter. And time wise, I think teens can take so much more time than small children. Every stage is fun and challenging, and enjoyable, but with teens you better be on your toes. They can trick you so much easier and their questions are so much more complicated. Instead of asking to play in the back yard, they are asking to go to a co-ed sleepover. Like you mentioned, one of the keys is keeping lines of communication open with teens. Make a relationship with them a priority and enjoy them and have fun with them.

    Reply

    1. Misty Phillip 03/02/2018 at 9:34 am

      Thanks for the great comment Theresa! I have found it is easier to get the hearts of some of my children over others. When I am stuck with one of my boys, I pray and ask God for a creative way to reach them. Praying the Lord shows you how to get into the mind of your son. 🙂

      I have seen too many families that are estranged from their grown children, and that makes me really sad. I know that loves wins the days with our kids, and I am grateful for the relationship that I have with my boys.

      Thanks for joining in this conversation.

      Blessings, Misty

      Reply

  9. Great piece! Yes, being a parent is forever and all of this applies. I have two adult children and my baby will be 18 next year. Parenting never stops. Blessings and great to see you at Grace & Truth Link!

    Reply

    1. Misty Phillip 03/02/2018 at 11:29 am

      Thanks Kelsey! My wise mother-in-law once said this to me when my children were small. “When they are little they have little problems and when they are big, they have big problems! so always make sure you are available to them as they grow! Thanks for visiting today 😊

      Reply

  10. Such great tips here! You are so right that as our children get older, they want the freedom to make their own decisions. I have found that communicating with them helping them to make right decision without telling them what to do, is the most challenging. But The Holy Spirit is so good to guide us. Thank you for sharing. I pinned this post to share with our Living Our Priorities community. Stopping by from Grace and Truth link up.

    Reply

    1. Misty Phillip 03/02/2018 at 1:01 pm

      Hey Kimberly, My biggest problem in parenting was not wanting my kids to fail, but my sweet husband would always tell me let them fail! We learn through pain, but a momma’s heart doesn’t want to see her kids hurt.

      You are right there is a finalize between communicating with by guiding and directing them, without telling them what to do. However, our God is the original creative, and when we come to Him for help with our kids, He helps us!

      Thanks so much for sharing this the Living Priorities Community! <3

      Many Blessings, Misty

      Reply

  11. Wonderful message for parents and grandparents of all ages. We can learn lessons at any age. 🙂

    Reply

    1. Misty Phillip 03/03/2018 at 9:18 am

      Agreed, thanks so much! Glad you enjoyed it. Blessings

      Reply

  12. Lila Diller 03/03/2018 at 1:06 pm

    My oldest son just turned 12 yesterday, so I’m coming up to those years you’re talking about, dreading them in a way. Thank you for the reminder about starting the communication when they’re young. I can see already that it’s made a difference, and I need to continue.

    Reply

    1. Misty Phillip 03/03/2018 at 2:25 pm

      Hi! Lila, there is no need to dread those years. With love, open communication action and lots of prayer, you will be fine!! Enjoy every stage, because it all goes by so fast! 🙂

      Reply

  13. Hi Misty! As a mom of 3 young adults, I couldn’t agree more! Parenting young adults is a tricky business. Thanks for giving us tips on how to do it with grace and God’s wisdom. Your neighbor over at the Sunday Thoughts link up!

    Reply

  14. This is spot on, Misty. We have to be there and listen – be ready to talk – to invite them to talk since they won’t always know exactly what to say. Know them so well that you know right away when something’s not quite right. Know what they are doing on social media/the Internet. Start teaching them when they are young – boy, I felt so alone in doing that when they were little! I felt like I was the odd one out. “What?? You teach your kids to seek God’s wisdom??? You direct everything back to God’s word??? You talk that much about Jesus???” Yes – and I am now seeing the fruit of those efforts. Thanks for sharing on Grace and Truth – such a wonderful post.

    Reply

    1. Misty Phillip 03/09/2018 at 4:48 am

      Hi! Aimee, Thank you for your thoughtful comments! I would agree when with you about feeling like the odd one out when they were young, but the fruit it produces is quite sweet. Blessings, Misty

      Reply

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