Communicating in a Way Your Husband Can Understand

Communicating in a Way Your Husband Can Understand

This week on By His Grace Podcast author Charity Bradshaw and I talk about the importance of communication in marriage. Communication or lack of communication is one of the biggest problems that affect couples today. So excited to introduce you to Charity and Ted Bradshaw! Their new book Staying I Do: Committed, Connected & Crazy in Love for a Lifetime is available for pre-order now and launches March 5, 2019.

Today Charity challenges wives to clearly communicate with their husbands. Please welcome Charity Bradshaw to the blog today.


Communicating in a Way Your Husband Can Understand

by Charity Bradshaw

Movies, sitcoms, books and magazines have conditioned us to believe that husbands can read our minds. “How to give him ‘THE LOOK’ that says it all” and other ridiculous headlines convince us that nothing needs to come out of our mouths in order for them to know what’s on our mind. FALSE.

“Charity, that’s #obvi.”

Oh really? 

Tell me you’ve never: 

  • thought your husband would put away the dishes without having to be asked after you had a really long day?
  • waited to see if he would notice and comment when you come out of the bathroom with your hair and makeup done?
  • craved his affection but made yourself wait until it came from his own initiative?

It couldn’t have been because he wasn’t picking up what you were putting down in your thoughts, was it? Of course, not. It’s because he’s a mind-reader and knew what you wanted but didn’t do it anyway, right? No! 

Laides, here’s the truth: Men are not as complicated as we are. Many men successfully and joyfully live in the now, focusing on one task at a time, one thought at a time. While that beautiful simplicity sometimes makes me jealous (because it seems so serene), it can also be a point of frustration. 

If I don’t intentionally remember how my husband is wired, I may actually get mad at him for something I thought he should do (but never mentioned out loud) that he didn’t end up doing. I know, I’m the only one. This idea of mind-reading is a God-sized expectation we put on our ever-so-human spouse. Sure, there may be times after years of knowing you that your husband can predict your needs or desires, but in the here and now, we need to function in a way that builds a marriage that thrives.

This ‘unspoken’ habit can wear down a relationship if not reversed. Click To Tweet

(Spoiler Alert: It is totally fixable and avoidable.)

Let’s start with the fact that husbands can only address things they are AWARE OF and REMEMBER.

Let me give you an example. I love when my husband writes me notes or letters. I am a ‘words of affirmation’ gal and enjoy reading and rereading his writings to me often. While we were dating, I told him about my love for letters and he acknowledged it. He did mention it was out of his wheelhouse but was willing to do it because he knew how much it meant to me.

Fast forward several months into our marriage and I noticed the note-writing had slowed down. I had two choices: become resentful, crunchy and bitter from not receiving letters, OR remind him that I would love for him to write to me and give him room to meet that desire. He’s not forgetting on purpose, it’s just not always front of mind when I would like one.

Pride convinces us to deny ourselves the love and affection we desire. It tells us to hold out, keep quiet and wait for it, all the while fueling the anger from unmet expectations within us.

Friends, this is a vicious cycle. It is self-destruction masked as an offense committed against us.

Humility, however, allows us to love ourselves enough to acknowledge and validate our need, as well as ask our spouse for it. I did (and continue to) let my husband know what my need is and how I would like for him to meet it. 

One of the things my husband loves most about me is that he always knows where he stands with me. He trusts that I will let him know if one of my love-tanks is running low or empty. He knows that I will include him in what I’m thinking by sharing it with him. 

Some of us get hung up on to the part of that quote, “…and if necessary, use words.” The words that come out of our mouth give us the best chance of getting our point across. If you have been withholding yourself by not communicating your needs or desires with your husband and then found yourself mad at him because he wasn’t reading your mind, I encourage you to set this record straight. 

First, apologize. Tell him what’s been going on and perhaps it will explain why he’s been feeling you were on edge lately. Promise to work on using words, not brainwaves, to communicate openly and honestly with him. Help him build trust in you that he will always know where he stands with you.

This is really a gift to yourself.

The enemy would like nothing more than to destroy the witness or testimony of your marriage. Personally, I am fan of the “a good offense is a good offense” strategy. Don’t wait for trouble to find your marriage, then simply try to fix it.

Use your words, now.

Open, honest (and audible) communication is the ounce of prevention that renders nearly all problems that could test a marriage, powerless.

Open, honest (and audible) communication is the ounce of prevention that renders nearly all problems that could test a marriage, powerless. Click To Tweet

“Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.” Ephesians 4:15 NIV


Charity Bradshaw is a wife, mother of four, author and entrepreneur. She is an expert at helping people who want to write a book become authors through Launch Author Coaching, her live 12-week virtual program. She is the President of LifeWise Books, a publishing house catering to authors with meaningful messages looking for top-notch service matched with honesty and integrity.
Charity and her husband, Ted married in 2002. Between their wild life of parenting four big personalities and rewatching their favorite episodes of The Office, they co-authored Staying I Do: Committed, Connected, & Crazy in Love For a Lifetime helping couples connect to the amazing benefits of marriage.

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Gospel of Matthew

Gospel of Matthew

As an author and blogger, I have the opportunity to read and review many books. I am selective in the books I choose review because I want to make sure what I select will serve my readers well. This past summer I sat at the feet of Jesus with a group of friends feasting on the teaching of Jesus in The Sermon on the Mount. The Gospel of Matthew is so rich in content, and Alabaster brings the book to life in a beautiful way. So after taking one look at The Gospel of Mathew by Alabaster Co, I jumped at the chance to review this to share with you.

 

 

The Gospel of Matthew is one of the many beautiful books and sleek designs by Alabaster Co that showcases the books of the Bible. I was immediately drawn to their high-quality design and amazing look and feel. From the moment you open the book through the credits the stunning visuals in the book coupled with the beauty of the gospel produces a coffee table worthy book that will draw people in and begs them to pick it up and dive in to reading it.

 

 

 

Something special happens when beauty, culture, and faith intersect, and that something is exemplified in the Gospel Of Matthew by Alabaster Co. Click To Tweet

The book begins with an artist Introduction, “When thinking of Matthew, the Sermon on the Mount is often the first part of the text that comes to mind. Jesus offers a reimagined, upsidedown kingdom through his new teachings, one where everyone – regardless of social or financial status – is invited…Our culture is constantly searching for the beginning. We are frenetically searching for ‘the next thing’ that will satisfy us. Yet in the hunt for fulfillment, what if the teachings Jesus offers here is the beginning we long for? What if Jesus’ upside down kingdom brings us the life we need? Here is The Gospel Of Matthew.”

 

The Gospel of Matthew comes to life through the New Living Translation and the sleek modern design and pictures.

 

The Alabaster Story

Alabaster Co. began late one night when friends Bryan Chung and Brian Chung were deep in discussion on creativity and God. Reflecting on the direction culture was taking toward visual images, innovation and design, an idea was born: create a brand passionate about fully exploring the intersection of creativity, beauty, and faith.

Realizing that beauty is a foundational value when talking about creativity and God, they decided to name the company Alabaster, after one of the only times Jesus uses the word beautiful in the Gospels. In Mark 14:1-9, a woman breaks an alabaster jar of incredibly expensive perfume onto Jesus’ head. Many people in the room scoff at her and say what she has done is a complete waste. But Jesus defends the woman saying, “leave her alone, why do you bother her? What she has done is a beautiful thing.” It is this complete act of sacrificial giving which Jesus calls – in the original greek – kalos, which literally means beautiful as a sign of inward goodness. We wanted to have this same level of intentionality and thoughtfulness as the woman did as we created Alabaster.

 

Alabaster is giving away this beautiful set of the gospels!

 

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Hope you check out this gem from Alabaster Co. and stay tuned for more great book recommendations. I am working on several book launch teams and will be sharing some other great reads with you all very soon! 

Much Love,

Misty Phillip

Finding Hope in Grief 

My guest on By His Grace this week Lauren Birchmire and I are kindred spirits when it comes to grief and loss. We both experienced the loss of our father’s suddenly and had to get married without our Daddy’s to give us away. We both know the anguish that comes from losing a child, and our hopes being crushed. But we also know that where there are deep wounds there is deep grace that comes from Jesus. When we cast our cares on Jesus we exchange our heavy burden for His peace that transcends our understanding. Lauren shares a little more of her story on the blog today. She offers some practical tips and advice on how to help a friend or loved one who is grieving.


Finding Hope in Grief 

by Lauren Birchmire

We use the word hope in many ways; I hope my children behave today, I wish the monthly budget is balanced, I want to get that raise, I hope my husband starts listening to me more, I think I can get this “to do list” done today.

It’s not wrong to hope for these things, but it can turn into hurt or hang-up when we ONLY put our hope in earthly thinking. I’ve hoped in the same way. I longed for my husband to stop drinking, I desired a healthy child.

I hoped for the miracle that didn’t come.

I’ve learned I can’t put my hope in just earthly events. We live in a fallen world, and it doesn’t work as God created. I have to remind myself daily of this truth. I ask God for peace and to put my peace and hope in Christ.

When you lose something so precious, we can either ground ourselves in that hurt; and be bitter or say to God, USE IT.

I have hoped and grieved a few times in this earthly life.

I suddenly lost my father to pancreatic cancer. We had no idea he had cancer until two weeks before he passed.

I’ve grieved my husband being an alcoholic, and not trusting him any longer.

Thankfully, by the grace of God, we will celebrate six years of sobriety in March. In April of 2017, we found out the news that our first child, our daughter Makena, would be born with a heart defect. We had two precious weeks of parenting her before her first surgery in late August of 2017. She had her second surgery on September the 6th, about 12 hours after that second surgery she went into sudden cardiac arrest, and went to heaven. We will never know this side of heaven why she went into cardiac arrest. My daughter lived for 3 ½ weeks.

These hurts that have occurred in my life have provided me the opportunity to learn about grieving well and finding hope in Christ. Click To Tweet

You might be feeling the stain of grief or some other emotions, but one thing I know for sure, YOU’RE NOT ALONE!

We grieve many things in this life, loss of job, money, a hurt that a loved one caused, separation from family or friends, the death of a loved one, etc.

We need to grieve and allow others to mourn too.

We are a society that pushes things away; if I pretend it is not there, then I won’t feel it.

That is a lie from Satan; he loves to twist the truth and make it sound so believable. We enter a pit of despair that we feel there is no escaping, but There is a way out! God provides the way, and through entering into that pain; you will come out the other side.

This does not mean the grief ends. It can hit you on the most mundane moment in a day, one simple memory will provide a puddle of tears, but I know who is collecting all those tears…Jesus. He will walk through that grief with you if you allow it. I had days that I would start sobbing while changing the laundry over because it reminded me of all the baby clothes I washed and prepped for Makena. I sobbed while washing the dishes because I felt I should be washing bottles or her little body instead.

I say to enter the pain, feel it, allow yourself to cry and cry out to God; He can take it, the good, the bad, the ugly. HE wants to hear it ALL.

Do not fear to reach out to someone you trust to share these deep hurts with, find a trusted Christian counselor, dive into a bible study about grief and loss, or find a Celebrate Recovery group near you. I’ve done all these suggested, and it allowed me to be in a healthy place with my grief; that I could not have done without Christ.

We aren’t meant to do grief alone.

What can you do for a friend or loved one who is grieving?

  • BE PRESENT!
  • Offer to do those dishes or laundry, sit with them and listen, watch a movie, and offer more than once.
  • Don’t try to keep the pain away, but enter it with them. Don’t say the cliche things like “oh they’re in a better place,” “oh they wouldn’t want you sad,” “Thank goodness the illness was short, not drawn out.” Or “at least you had time to say goodbye.” Lastly, the biggest one of all, “God must have needed them.” God doesn’t need anyone; we need him!
  • Don’t say the contrite things as it just makes that person feel like they shouldn’t grieve. Be present, offer to help, listen, validate their feelings, speak God’s truth to them lovingly when Satan tries to whisper lies to them. That is it. If they cry, go ahead and cry with them. When we grief well it keeps us healthy and prevents us from seeking other hang-ups or habits that bring us into bondage, not freedom.

I do have some earthly hope, our second daughter will make her entrance in about eight weeks, but my daily hope that gets me through each hardship, each day of grief is that this life is temporary in the long term and one day it will all be set right.

God never wastes a hurt if you allow Him to use it. Click To Tweet

God has called me into public speaking on grief, addictions, and hope. My loving husband and I are starting a ministry called, Makena Ministries “United in Tragedy to bring hope” I believe God is using my story to share what true hope in living in Christ’s care can do even in the darkest of circumstances.


Nothing is impossible with God! He makes beauty from the ashes and promises to carry us through the storms of life. For more information about Makena Ministries, you can email the Birchmire’s at birchmire@icloud.com.

We are celebrating the 10th episode of By His Grace today!! If you are enjoying these podcasts would you mind sharing your favorite episode with your friends? Also, you can subscribe under the podcast tab or on iTunes and they will come straight to your inbox each week. Hope you have a great week!

Much Love,

 

Misty Phillip

Finding Purpose After the Pain

Finding Purpose After the Pain

When we give God the brokenness and pain we endure in this life, and we allow him to heal our hearts, we become beautiful instruments of his love and grace. This week on the podcast my guest Stephanie Scott shares the painful wounds of losing a child, and how God’s amazing grace brought healing and comfort in her life. Today on the blog she shares how God took one of life’s most difficult losses and turned it for good. Stephanie recounts how she now has found purpose in pain.



by Stephanie Scott

Writing this was beyond my wildest imagination almost 20 years ago. There is a picture from then of me holding my tiny infant son while he took his last breath on earth. In the picture, tears are pouring down a face full of despair with a bright smile for the camera. 

     My son, Wyn, was to be my only biological child on earth.  Despite every heartbreaking effort in my quest to “be a mother.”  Accepting God’s will in this was as far from reality as the desert is from the sea.

      I won’t pretend it has been quick or easy. The anger I felt at God churned through my belly with a ferocity matched by the fires hell in intensity. 

      But I put a pretty face on for the world. I figuratively buried my pain so deep and covered it with concrete. Then spread rich and fertile soil. The seeds planted were sprinkled with the rain of held back tears. So the flowers could bloom in a brilliant hue.  For years I coasted in this way.

      Through God, the grief and anger escaped through the cracks in the concrete and porous nature of soil though. Little by little letting go and learning what He’s saying so. God ‘s staying power over dismaying power every time.

Through God, the grief and anger escaped through the cracks in the concrete and porous nature of soil though. Little by little letting go and learning what He’s saying so. God ‘s staying power over dismaying power every time. Click To Tweet

        Now I am the team mom for Reinhardt University football where my husband is the Defensive Coordinator. I held my son and know the love I have for the players entrusted to me is no different. 

       When people thank me for what I do them, I always answer, “Oh, I am the blessed one.” And mean it! They call me Mama Scott and their love for me is all my mama’s heart ever needed.

       Some of these boys come from such broken circumstances.  The mothering I give is the first they have ever known.  A lot of them are learning about Christ’s love for the first time too. The best part of my job is praying for them and watching them come to Christ.  

        I am like the little old lady that lived in the shoe except God shows me what to do. All I ever yearned for was another son, and God has given me hundreds     

        It is just like it promises in Jer. 29:11.  “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

There is meaning and purpose in tragedy, and it IS God’s greatest blessing. My smiles now are not for the camera.


Stephanie Scott is a coach’s Tommy’s wife and team mom at Reinhardt University. Stephanie’s motto is faith, family, friends, football, and service. You can find out more about Stephanie on her blog www.hopeshaping.com      

Contending for the Covenant

Contending for the Covenant

My sweet friend Angel Penn is featuring a series on her blog Experiencing Freedom on Biblical Marriage entitled Contending for the Covenant: A 20 Day Marriage Series.    I am honored and so excited to be one of the featured bloggers in this series! Check out this amazing lineup of guest bloggers.


Behind Every Great Man

As a young wife and mom with a house full of boys, I struggled to keep it all together. Our house was busy and loud most of the time since we homeschooled our boys. A great deal of my days were consumed with teaching, and training the boys, mountains of laundry, and trying to cook healthy meals to boys that were bottomless pits.

On one particular day, we finished our school early and made plans to go meet some friends at the park. Before we left, I wanted to get a head start on dinner so put a pot of dried pinto beans on the stove, covered them with water and planned to quick soak them before we left to go to the park. That way dinner would be quick and easy to cook when I got home. 

Between looking for a lost shoe, trying to find the bb’s to the airsoft gun, and getting out of the house in one piece. It was a usual but hectic time just getting out the door to go meet our friends. Finally, we get to the park, and the boys all run off to meet their friends, and I look forward to some much-needed mom fellowship….


My post goes live tomorrow and I would love for you to check it out. Behind Every Great Man  Find out What a Pot of Beans Taught Me About Being an Excellent Wife!

While you are there check out some of the other powerful posts in this series, and give Angel a follow. #Istilldo

Much Love,

 

 

 

Misty Phillip

With Jesus We are Enough

With Jesus We are Enough

As women today we are bombarded with the images of perfection. From the fashion or home magazines, perfectly curated Instagram feeds, or Pinterest boards. Everywhere we go we are faced with the unattainable standard our culture portrays is the “perfect everything”.

the perfect body

the perfect husband

perfect kids

perfect home

perfect car

The perfect EVERYTHING!

Many women have bought into the lie of perfection and that leaves us feeling inadequate, discouraged, and insecure. The lies we believe impact how we live which is why many women today struggle with self-worth, feeling like they don’t measure up, or that they just aren’t enough. 

My guest today Missy Lewis has struggled with feeling like she is not enough, and is on a mission to tell women that through Christ we are enough. 

Friends, the truth is on our we will never be enough, we will never live up to an unrealistic standard of perfection. But praise God when we are weak Jesus is strong. When our identity is rooted and grounded in the love of Jesus Christ, we learn that in Jesus we are enough.

The problem begins when we compare ourselves to others. Comparison is a trap and a joy killer. It takes our eyes off of Jesus and puts our eyes on what we perceive we have or don’t have, or what others have. And that will leave us coming up empty EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

Comparison takes our eyes off of Jesus, put our eyes on what we perceive we have or don’t have, or what others have. And that will leave us coming up empty EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Click To Tweet

Instead, we should laser focus on Jesus. Not on our friends, our sister, our family, our kids, our neighbors, our social media profiles, our bank accounts, our stuff, our house, our cars, our problems, or anywhere else but Jesus. Jesus is the only one who can satisfy, and meet all of our needs. 

We love the Olympics in our house and always watch them. Different family members like different events. My son Connor loves watching the swimming and was a huge Michael Phelps fan. He would go around the house imitating his arm motions and starting position. When Michael Phelps swims he doesn’t look at the swimmers in the other lanes to see what they are doing. He is focused on doing what he is supposed to do. I think this is a great visual for our lives. We don’t need to worry about what others are doing, we just need to focus on swimming hard and fast in our own lane. Keeping our eyes laser-focused on Jesus.

In the book of Hebrews Chapter 12:1-2 states, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,  looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”

In these verses, our Christian life is referred to as a race, and that we should look to Jesus, the founder, and perfecter of our faith. Fully man but fully God, Jesus did what only He could do. He is the perfect sinless, spotless lamb, that died that we may live. On our own, we will never be enough. But because Jesus paid the price of our sin on the cross, and defeated death, hell, and the grave, we are made enough. 

Here are a few thoughts from my guest Missy Lewis on being enough.


 

Not Enough… by Missy Lewis

Is there anyone else out there who feels as if you are never enough?  Not pretty enough.  Not athletic enough.  Not thin enough.  Not smart enough.  Not old enough.  Not young enough.  Not funny enough.  Not outgoing enough…

You get the picture.

I have spent a lifetime in this state of “un-enoughness,” and I’m fed up with it!  I invite you to join me and, on the count of three, we can all yell, “ENOUGH ALREADY!”

Ready?

One!

Two!

Three…

ENOUGH ALREADY!!!

Doesn’t that feel better?

You are enough already!

I am enough already!

We’ve had enough already!

Enough of listening to the enemy whisper those vicious lies into our ears about how we can never be enough.  Because you know what the Truth is?

We. Are. Not. ENOUGH!

Not alone, anyway.

God knew this, though, and He never intended for us to stay that way.  He made a way through Jesus so we can be enough.  The choice is ours, though.  If we choose Jesus, we are made complete in Him.  If we deny Him…we will never know enoughness.

Missy Lewis is a wife, Momma, and “Minnie” (that’s her grandma name) from rural West Texas. When she’s not playing with her two precious granddaughters, she blogs at themissylewis.com. She is a scribe and a messenger with one urgent message – God loves you just as you are! You are ENOUGH already!


Friends, we are in a battle. We have an insidious spiritual enemy who comes to steal, kill, and destroy. He is a liar, and a thief and he is bent on our destruction. That is why we must take our thoughts captive to the obedience of Jesus Christ. We need to know the truth of God’s word because the truth sets us free. The truth combats the lies that try to derail us from being all that we were created to be!

I challenge you to get into the word of God, study it, know it, believe it, and use it to combat the lies.

Much Love,

 

 

 

Misty Phillip

LoveNudge App

LoveNudge App

Are you looking for a fun new way to connect with your hubby, just in time for Valentine’s Day? Then you are going to want to check out this fun new application LoveNudge App!

The LoveNudge app for couples from Moody Publishers Limited is the official 5 love languages application based on the best selling book by Dr. Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages®. We have apps for all kinds of things, to organize our day, track our food intake, and fitness goals. So why not use an app to be intentional with your spouse?

A playful, engaging tool that helps couples experience love more deeply. It's like a fitness app for relationships. Click To Tweet

Peter and I had fun playing with LoveNugde app. Once you register and set the app up, you can add a picture of yourself and then take the 5 love languages quiz. After taking the love language quiz I learned a lot about both myself, my husband and what makes us feel loved!

The Love Nudge App is an insightful tool to help you create a connection with your spouse by knowing their love languages. I was surprised to find out that my #1  love language was Words of Affirmation, but I wasn’t too surprised that Peter’s top love language is Physical Touch.  Quality Time was my #3 love language, but it is Peter’s number #2. Understanding our love languages can help us be intentional in filling one another’s love tank.

The 5 love languages are Physical Touch, Acts of Service, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Receiving Gifts. There is a brief description of each of the five love languages, and a short video that accompanies each love language. The allows you to set goals and reminders to do various activities like go on a picnic, date night, or send an encouraging text. Send messages aka love nudges to your spouse through the app. You can rate and measure your love tank, and there is even a stats page to track your love tank progress over time and measure your love goals.

Download the Love Nudge App and be entered to win Dr. Gary Chapman’s #1 New York Times bestseller The 5 Love Languages®, The 5 Love Languages® for Men, AND The Love Languages Devotional Bible (hardback)! To enter and for more details see the giveaway.

Hope you enjoy the Love Nudge App and be sure to share it with your friends on social media!

Much Love,

 

Misty Phillip

Loneliness in Marriage

Loneliness in Marriage

Hey friends, today I have a special treat for you!  I want to introduce you to my friend, author Sarah Geringer. Sarah is this week’s guest on the By His Grace Podcast.  We initially met online through our blogs and social media. Then we finally got a chance to meet up in person last year in July when we both attended the She Speaks Conference!! Sarah is absolutely precious, and I have really enjoyed getting to know her better.  We are both passionate about encouraging women to know and love Jesus more.

What you may not know is that Sarah and I are both on the contributor team at A Wife Like Me! How cool is that?!?

Just in time for Valentine’s day, we are doing something really special for wives at A Wife Like Me. Join us for  the 14-day challenge and you’ll receive a daily challenge in your inbox that will spark love in your heart and in your marriage. A Wife Like Me is searching for wives JUST LIKE YOU to join us in the mission to spread LOVE to create thriving marriages. Join us the 14 days of love challenge.

14 Days of LOVE Challenge

Starting on 2/1/19, you’ll receive 14 days of practical and simple love challenges that fit into your busy lifestyle yet spice up your routine. I along with several other AWLM Contributors will join our fearless leader Amanda Davison to go Live in the A Wife Like Me Gathering Facebook page to encourage you along the way!

I hope you are enjoying the By His Grace Podcast! People are listening in from all across the United States. This week on the podcast my guest Sarah openly shares about her lifelong struggle with loneliness, and how she found hope through faith and fellowship. Loneliness can strike at any time and for a variety of different reasons, from physical isolation, moving to a new location, divorce, loss of a loved one. However, some people can be surrounded by people, yet feel so very alone. Please welcome Sarah Geringer.


How to Deal With Loneliness in Marriage by Sarah Geringer

Do you deal with loneliness in marriage? I’ve dealt with it frequently in the past 18 years. But I’ve learned how to handle it with God’s help.I’m blessed to write monthly for A Wife Like Me, a beautiful and encouraging site for wives of all backgrounds. Visit the site and join the Facebook group for loads of inspiration and blessings.

Do you deal with loneliness in marriage? I’ve dealt with it frequently in the past 18 years. But I’ve learned how to handle it with God’s help. Click To Tweet

Here’s a snippet from Sarah’s recent post at A Wife Like Me:

Loneliness has long been my unwanted companion. My parents divorced when I was 4, and that’s when loneliness started knocking on my door. It sat at my bedside during childhood, walked beside me in high school, and didn’t leave my side in college.

Loneliness carved a hole in my heart that only God could fill. Yet when I met my husband-to-be, I thought his love would be enough to fill up that hole.

Only two weeks after our wedding, loneliness took up residence in our little-rented room. Its presence shocked me! I thought getting married would banish loneliness forever, but in some ways, I felt its presence more keenly after marriage.

Loneliness can threaten to undermine your marriage. Through our many trials in the past 18 years, I’ve learned ways to set loneliness outside on the porch instead of letting it in.

Please head over to A Wife Like Me to read my three suggestions for overcoming feelings of loneliness in marriage.


If you are on social media I encourage you to follow me there. You can find me on all of the social media channels as Misty Phillip. There are links at the bottom of the page,  and to get the latest from Misty Phillip. Also, I have started a By His Grace Podcast Facebook community, and would love to have you join me there!

No matter what you are going through, or what you struggle with today, I want you to know that YOU ARE LOVED and HIGHLY VALUED by your dear friend Jesus! He wants you to cast your cares on HIM because HE cares for you! Please let me know how I can pray for you!

Much Love,

 

 

Misty Phillip

Standing for Life

Standing for Life

What happened in New York is a tragedy. Elections have ramifications. Who you vote for matters! This week New York passed a law allowing late-term abortions up to nine months. There was thunderous applause when the law passed, and then the One World Trade center light up pink to celebrate. Unbeleivable.

At the end of last year, I was asked to speak at an abortion recovery retreat. I was excited to get to share the grace, forgiveness, and freedom available to all in Jesus Christ.

I posted something on my Facebook page about voting for pro-life candidates in the upcoming election. This is when I found out the person in charge of the retreat and I have differing political ideologies and experiences. She contacted me explaining her stance and offered to allow me to back out. After much prayer and consideration, I decided to let the election pass and tried to reach out to her in love and compassion to explain why I believe it’s important to vote for pro-life candidates. 

Our God created life. Life is important to God, and it should be important to us as Christians. Click To Tweet

Then a few weeks ago she uninvited me to speak because of my unwavering pro-life political stance.

I hadn’t planned on saying anything about it to anyone, even though I had already posted on social media that I would be a speaker at this event. But in light of the legislation that passed in New York this week. I can’t be quiet. Not because I was invited to speak and then uninvited to speak, but because what we stand for matters. As Christians, we have a duty and a responsibility to stand for what is noble, good, and true. 

I am not ashamed of the gospel. 

I will fight for Christian values and morals to be upheld whether it is popular or not.  

Who we put into office matters. We can’t call ourselves Christian, and pro-life and then vote for pro-choice candidates. 

Last week I attended the March for Life in Washington, DC with the http://Savethe1.com team. It was so encouraging to see hundreds of thousands of people peacefully marching for the unborn. Save the 1 is a non-profit organization that advocates for 100% percent pro-life laws, with no exceptions for rape or fetal abnormality. At Save the 1, we believe everyone deserves a chance at life. 

My son Ian and I arrived in Washington, Dc on Thursday and went straight to the Law and Life Summit, and the March for Life Expo. Thursday evening we attended the Save the Storks Ball. http://savethestorks.com Save the Storks is revolutionizing the pro-life movement with its fleet of over 40 buses equipped with mobile medical units and ultrasound machines to help mothers make the choice to chose life. They partner with local pregnancy resources, and up to date have helped saved the lives of over 4,000 babies. 4 out of 5 women who board a Stork bus chose life for their baby.

We had an amazing evening complete with a fantastic line up of pro-life advocating guest speakers, including Vice-President and Second Lady Pence. A highlight of the evening was hearing the Vice-President quote scripture and proclaim the importance of life. Other special guests and entertainers included;

  • Kirk and Chelsea Cameron
  • Eric Metaxas
  • Allie Stuckey
  • Matt Hammitt
  • Steven Curtis Chapman
  • Bob Lenz

Friday morning we assembled on the National Mall to hear conservative radio host Ben Shapiro live podcast to advocate on behalf of the unborn at the March for Life rally. The March feature an incredible lineup of pro-life speakers.

  • Sidewalk Prophets
  • Senator Steve Daines (R-MT)
  • Congressman Dan Lipinski (D-IL)
  • Congressman Chris Smith (R-NJ)
  • State Representative Katrina Jackson (D-LA)
  • Ben Shapiro, editor-in-chief of The Daily Wire
  • Abby Johnson, founder of And Then There Were None
  • Dr. Alveda King, Director of Civil Rights for the Unborn with Priests for Life
  • Dr. Kathi Aultman, fellow of the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists
  • Ally Cavazos, President of Princeton Pro-Life
  • Carl Anderson, Supreme Knight of the Knights of Columbus
  • Archbishop Joseph Naumann, Chairman of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops Pro-life Activities Committee.
 

While in Washington, DC Save the1 filmed a documentary. After a series of pictures, and interviews with the Save the 1 team we gathered to take a photo in front of this jumbotron that tells the story of several Save the 1 team members. I am humbled to serve alongside such brave men and women who have chosen life in the most difficult of circumstances. 

We made our way to the end of the line near the supreme court and stood on the corner holding our signs and thanking people for marching for almost 4 hours. I was overwhelmed and in awe by the incredible sea of people that flowed through the street for hours on end. There was easily at least a million people in attendance. Men, women, teenagers, children all peacefully assembled to stand for the unborn. 

The March for Life ignited a spark within me. This weeks news is both horrific and unsettling, but it makes me want to shine my light brighter for Jesus. Many Americans are deceived and need to know the truth and hope of Jesus Christ. Please be in prayer for our country, and pray about how you can make a stand.  Matthew 5:14 ESV declares, “You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden.” As our world continues to grow darker, I encourage you to you shine brighter.

Much Love, 

 

Misty Phillip

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