When I met this week’s By His Grace Podcast guest Tricia Thirey, she radiated Jesus. Tricia Thirey is a young widow and mom to three children six and under. In 2013 her husband Ben was diagnosed with brain cancer and underwent his first surgery. He retired from the military in 2016 and they moved back to Ohio to be near family where he began his third battle with brain cancer. He passed away in the summer of 2017. Since his passing Tricia shares many life lessons of love and loss with others. She enjoys sharing her journey and all that God is teaching her with others on her blog.
Today Tricia shares wisdom about not being afraid and knowing you are not alone.
You are Not Alone
by Tricia Thirey
You know that time when you shared your heart with that friend because the struggle you were facing seemed to be too big to handle on your own? You needed a sounding board and someone to hear all the anxieties and worries and tell you that you were not alone?
Maybe you didn’t need advice or even someone to respond, but just to know that someone else knew your struggles and was there if you needed them. I have been in that place more times than I can possibly count. Sitting in my not so quiet house longing for someone to talk to and hear my struggles. Someone who could tell me that while they may not be able to relate, they understand the place I am and I am not alone.
I am thankful that God has sent those people into my life this past year to fill the void left by losing Ben. While it will never be the same as having him here, I appreciate their willingness to listen, their attempts to relate, and they are loving me through whatever the struggle was. And most importantly, their praying for me to find peace in the midst of whatever that struggle was.
Somehow, when we are able to voice those struggles and concerns with someone else, it seems to lessen the burden that those struggles have on us. Even when they can’t relate, having someone to listen keeps me from feeling alone.
But more importantly, I have also learned to rely on my heavenly father this year in those quiet times when there is no one around who can relate or understand. He also reminds me that I am not alone in that place. All throughout scripture I see people who thought they were alone in their struggles and pains and needed to be reminded that God was with them no matter what they were facing.
The book of Joshua is one of those places that I keep going back to these days. Repeatedly throughout the first chapter of Joshua as we see God outlining his plan for Joshua and reminding him to not be afraid because He would be with him.
I am not alone.
Even on the days when it feels like no one understands, no one can relate, and no one feels my pain.
There is a heavenly Father who is right there, understanding, relating and who lifts me back up so that I know I can continue to make it through. And I am grateful for those friends who have surrounded me this year and have pushed me to remember that even when they are not with me, HE is. And He will never leave me alone.
Isn’t it so comforting to know we are never alone! God is always with us and he is always there to see us through our difficulties. We only have to call upon his name. My friend, I don’t know where you are right now, or what you are going through, but I want you to know that God sees you in the midst of your struggle. He loves you and He will never leave you or forsake you! All you have to do is call upon His name.
This week my guest on By His Grace is Michelle Hammer. Michelle wears many hats wife, mom, grandma, Pastoral Counselor, and Psychotherapist. Michelle is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, Board Certified Clinical Supervisor, Certified Pastoral Counselor, Author, and Motivational Speaker. On the podcast, we discuss martial challenges and Michelle is here on the blog today to offer some biblical insight into a common martial struggle. Please welcome Michelle Hammer. – Listen to the podcast here –>
by Michelle Hammer
Today’s post is about to get real. I have permission from my lovely hubby to put our core struggle out there. It’s a struggle I see all the time in my practice with couples. I know the struggle is real. It’s also one of the main reasons emotional affairs happen unintentionally or intentionally.
I know it happens because it’s recently
Not by our design or will but by the sheer force of the trials of this life. It isn’t an easy battle to face.
For my hubby and I, the battle has been LACK OF TIME. He took on an “unintended” commitment for a wonderful cause last year. He said he kept hearing GOD say, You must become less, I must become more.” Powerful, huh? I actually told him, “Who am I to stand in the way of God!”
Let me give the back story.
We are currently building a retreat center where people can find solace, respite, relaxation, recreation
This position is in an actual bistro in the heart of downtown Annapolis where our retreat center is being built. He felt it would be great to both continue teaching,
The only problem is, as usual, life happened. He was only there three days when the GM resigned and the Executive Chef of the entire restaurant was promoted. As my hubby has been an Executive Chef many times in the past, of course, they would offer the position to him. Hubby being hubby, his word from the Lord, and people in need led him to say yes, for one year. Boy, what a year this has been.
Now, back to our blog. 🙂
He has been working so much that when he is off, he is exhausted, wiped out, with little left to give. Me, on the other hand, I’m right where we left off when he took the commitment and anticipating his return to our shared business and ministry.
This isn’t said to blame him: however, as this
I was talking to him from a place of passion
That’s what this post is about. Because GOD is so good, and Hubby and I love each other fervently, we (eventually)worked it out and came up with a solution to our unmet emotional needs. After this conflict I got to thinking, some people aren’t so lucky. They don’t have the resources I have at my fingertips. So, that’s what this post is about.
Finally, you say. We hear what this post is about!
If you want to feel close to your partner and there’s been a disconnect for any reason, here’s a quick formula for successfully sharing feelings:
1. Pray before you say……Anything!
2. Pick a time that’s good for you both.
3. Follow this validation process:
Partner A- State emotion, the reason why and request for change
Say, “I feel ________when you________. I really need_________.”
Partner B- Clarify what you’ve heard
Say, “What I hear you saying is________
Partner A- Restate your position
Say, “That’s exactly how I feel and what I need” OR
repeat Step A until your partner hears clearly what you’ve said.
Partner B- Offer understanding
Say, “I understand how you feel and what you need.” Then state the feeling and need.
Partner A- Affirm partner B for getting it
Say, “It feels so good to be understood.” or some other nice affirmation
Partner A and B- Brainstorm Solutions Together.
Partner B and A- Do it over again in opposite roles.
Okay, okay, okay. This may sound elementary; however, when there’s hurt, anger, misunderstanding etc., words start flying and emotions get heightened or the opposite, people stonewall and shut down or fly off the handle and leave the scene. Instead of feeling closer, each person feels more misunderstood. Where the intent is to share feelings instead, conflict ensues.
By keeping it simple, the focus remains on the shared emotions. By sticking to the formula, it ensures each partner is heard. Otherwise, before the feelings are expressed and understood, conflict erupts and divides the partners. With this formula, conflict creates the beauty it intends. To bring two lovers to a better understanding of one another and draw them closer.
Nothing keeps the fires of love burning like some emotional closeness. Especially since women work sexually from an emotional place, men love to be admired and to feel like they are doing things their woman appreciates and needs.
Keep trying this process until it becomes so natural you and your partner can connect effortlessly and then get to the fun of why your partnered up in the first place… Intimacy.
Which, by the way, means INTO ME SEE. Who doesn’t want that?
Meanwhile, got to go. Only have so much time with the hubby until his work is done next month, thank God. Praise the Lord! Want to go spend it seeing into him and him seeing into me. We have a lot of catching up to do!
Michelle Hammer, MS, LCPC, CPC, currently serves as the Chief Executive Officer at Turning Leaf Counseling & Consultation, LLC.
Wasn’t that good? How often do we get too busy doing our own thing, that we don’t slow down long enough to share our hearts with our spouse and create intimacy?
This week think of some ways that you can create intimacy with your spouse, and create some time for emotional closeness.
Happy New Year Friends,
I have an exciting announcement to make. Drum roll
By His Grace: Deep Wounds, Deep Grace – Transformative Stories of God’s Grace
Deep Wounds, Deep Grace – Join host Misty Phillip and guests as they share openly about challenges they face, and how God’s amazing transformative grace, hope, and love changes everything.
All podcast episodes will be available here under the podcast tab and you can subscribe to the podcast on iTunes.
Happy Listening! I can’t wait to hear your feedback.
Pornography used to be a dirty little shameful secret, but with advances in technology and personal computing, pornography is just a click away and can be accessed in privacy anywhere on your computer or smartphone. Pornography is a growing problem that affects men, women, teens, and children. Christians are not immune to the problems associated with pornography.
Many of the problems we have in our world today stem from the sin of sexual immorality. Pornography, Sex Trafficking, Abortion, Adultery, and Divorce are rampant today and all stem from sexual immorality. As Christians, we need to address these problems from a Biblical perspective and shed light into the darkness in this world.
Join me today at A Wife Like Me where I share what you should do if you find out your spouse is viewing porn.
What To Do If Your Spouse Has a Problem With Pornography
If you find your husband viewing pornography you may feel any combination of feeling hurt, shame, betrayal, rejection, jealous, angry or humiliation.
Sister, the first thing I want to tell you is you are not alone. Pornography is a serious problem affecting over half of marriages today. With easy access to the internet and mobile phones, pornography can now be viewed with a few simple keystrokes.
I also want to tell you is that there is hope. Nothing is impossible for our God. If God can speak a word and create a universe, don’t you think that He can redeem and restore your marriage?
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” – 1 John 1:9 ESV
How do I know this to be true? My husband struggled with pornography early in our marriage and God delivered him from it. I forgave him and God restored our marriage and my trust. Our marriage is better today than it was twenty years ago.
Join me at A Wife Like Me to find out what to do if your spouse has a problem with pornography.
All this week at A Wife Like Me we are focusing on the issue of pornography in marriage. There will be daily content on the A Wife Like Me Website and we will be going Live on the A Wife Like Me Gathering Facebook Group A Wife Like Me Gathering Facebook Group.
Join me tonight I will be going LIVE with Amanda Davison at
Please share this post to help kick pornography to the curb and protect marriages and families from the effects of pornography.
You may be struggling to make sense of life after losing a baby. I want you to know that you are not alone. One in four women suffers from this loss.
But I also want you to know that there is comfort in God’s word that can be a salve to your weary soul. There are two free resources on this site that may help guide you through your struggle.
The first is scriptures to pray when you struggle. MistyPhillip.com/verses
The second is a one week in-depth Bible Study on Overcoming entitled, The Struggle Is Real, but so is God. MistyPhillip.com/struggle
I hope you find these resources helpful, and that you will share with those who are grieving the loss of a pregnancy or an infant loss.
Today I am going to give you a sneak peek behind the curtain and see what I have been up to the last few weeks, and tell you about some things I have planned for the near future. Secretly I have had my house decorated for fall since the end of August.
At home: My baby turned 17 at the end of September. Wow! Now that makes me feel old. Lol. I wanted his birthday to be special because I know my time with him at home is fleeting, and I am trying to savor each moment. All he wanted for his birthday was to play basketball with his closest friends and eat chicken and waffles. So this mama got busy making a mess of homemade fried chicken and waffles for some hungry growing boys.
Next, we have three milestones birthdays in the family this fall. Beginning with my husband who turned 50! We celebrated him at home with some close friends several courses of food and some amazing charcuterie!
At work: I’ve had the honor to be on some incredible book launch teams this month. All of the books have been very different in content, and genre, but all equally as good.
It’s Okay not to be Okay: Moving Forward One Day at a Time by Sheila Walsh
I loved this book so much I ordered a copy for my friend who is going through a difficult time! This book is thought-provoking, beautifully written and full of wisdom, truly life-giving nourishment for the soul. Sheila Walsh shares openly that life may not turn out the way we plan. But we have an amazing God to see us through! We don’t have to be afraid or have it all together. Her is not just self-help for someone going through a difficult time, it is God Help!
7 Deadly Friendships: How to Heal When Painful Relationships Eat Away at Your Joy by Mary Demuth
Mary DeMuth does a great job examining the toxic relationships we have all experienced. She skillfully identifies the various characteristics of these friendly foes. Then shares biblical wisdom and powerful insight to help heal from the pain and devastation caused by these deadly friends! I learned so much about relationships in this insightful book,
Burden Of Proof by DiAnn Mills
It has been way too long since I’ve read a good fiction book because I typically read and write non-fiction. DiAnn is in my Life Group at church, and I recently joined her writer’s critique group. When she brought some advanced reader copies compliments of Tyndale House to the last meeting, I jumped at the chance to read Burden of Proof. I was immediately sucked into the story and couldn’t put it down. if you are looking for an adventure I highly recommend Burden of Proof!
And last, but certainly not least is My Cozy Minimalist Home by Myquillyn Smith, Aka “The Nester”
If you want a cozy home and are tired of dealing with all the stuff, Myquillyn shows you how you can have the cozy look and feel you want in your home, without all of the unnecessary junk! This is the perfect read to help prepare your home for the holiday season. The Cozy Home Minimalist launches on October 23rd, and you are going to want to grab a copy! I am doing my best to keep up with the #MyCozyFallHome challenge on Instagram, and would love to have you follow along! instagram.com/mistyphillip/
For fun: I did a 5K to raise money for the Houston Coalition for Life, and went to the annual fundraiser dinner for Texas Right to Life where I met the keynote speakers the Benham brothers. Both events helped to raise money to help save the lives of unborn children.
October 25, 2018 – Join me for an evening to celebrate life! I will one of the guest speakers at the upcoming Montgomery County Right to Life monthly meeting.
Conroe House of Prayer
7-8:30 PM at 115 W Davis St. Conroe, TX 77301
October 27, 2018 – Excited to share my testimony at the Reflection Women’s Event at Champion Forest Baptist Church
Champion Forest Baptist Church Champions Campus
9:00 AM-Noon at 15555 Stubener Airline Drive Houston, TX 77069
For ticket information: www.Championforest.org/reflection
Great storytelling comes naturally to some people, and unfortunately, I am not one of them. Which is very detrimental when you are pursuing a career as an author, blogger, and speaker. My husband and I often joke that I am walking in his calling. He has mastered the art of storytelling both verbally and in writing. People love listening to him tell his tales. Since this is not in my wheelhouse, I am continually working on my writing craft to try and improve.
When the opportunity arose for me to review the Guidepost Academy writing program, I jumped at the chance! I was given the entire course for free in exchange for an honest review. I was familiar with Guidepost magazine because I vividly remember my grandmother reading guideposts when I was young.
A few of the things I love about the How to Tell A Great Story: As a busy wife, entrepreneur, and homeschool mom it is hard to find time to work on my writing craft, but the Guidepost master class allows me to go through the course at my own pace, pause when I need and come back to lessons as often as I would like. This feature is super helpful.
Writing intensive programs tend to be very expensive. Another thing I love about this course is that is is very reasonably priced. Also, I don’t have to attend a classroom or workshop. I can work my way through the course at my own pace at a coffee shop, on the go, or in the comfort of my own home.
There are 12 video modules followed by a quiz to test your competency on the material, and each lesson includes a helpful writer’s workbook with highlights from each video session and space for you to take notes.
Description of the course from Guidepost:
Welcome to “How To Tell A Great Story”, a two-hour exclusive master class designed to teach you how to write your own story or memoir that you can share with friends, family or even have published on a website or in a local or national publication.
Master storytellers from Guideposts will teach you how to make your story compelling and entertaining, following a formula that has worked at Guideposts for over 70 years. You take the course at your own pace and you can repeat the modules as many times as you would like.
TOP FEATURES: With over two hours of video lessons, this creative writing course will teach you all the essentials to writing a great story:
- 12 video modules (captions available) to guide you in your creative writing journey
- Digital Workbook with a summary of main points from each module
- Full lifetime access to the course and its materials
- Quiz for each module, to test your knowledge
- Certificate of completion when you finish the course
- Instructions on how to submit your story to a publisher for publication.
- Compatible in all web browsers
- 30 Day Money-Back Guarantee
Several people have recently asked me for help in learning how to tell their story. This creative writing course is taught by knowledgeable instructors who are fun, engaging and make learning the craft of writing and storytelling a breeze.
This master class is taught by the seasoned Guidepost Editors.
Edward Grinnan is Editor-in-Chief of Guideposts magazine and Vice President and Editorial Director of Guideposts publications, which include the magazines All Creatures, Mysterious Ways, Angels on Earth, and PLUS. He is a graduate of the University of Michigan and has an MFA in playwriting from the Yale School of Drama. He is the author of the books The Promise of Hope: How True Stories of Hope and Inspiration Saved My Life, and Always By My Side: Life Lessons from Millie and All the Dogs I’ve Loved.
Rick Hamlin is executive editor of Guideposts magazine. He has published three novels and has written several books on prayer, most recently Ten Prayers You Can’t Live Without and Pray for Me. He and his wife, Carol, live in New York City and are the parents of two grown boys.
Amy Wong is executive editor of the magazines Guideposts and All Creatures. She wishes she could write as fast as she talks.
Colleen Hughes is Editor-in-Chief of Angels on Earth magazine and Senior Contributing Editor for Guideposts annual Joys of Christmas publication.
Jim Hinch is a senior editor at Guideposts magazine. He is a longtime contributor to Daily Guideposts and he and wife, Kate, live in New York City with their two children, Frances and Benjamin
I highly recommend How To Tell A Great Story: The Essential Writing Course From the Editors of Guideposts! Don’t just take my word for it. See what other people are saying. Check out these great reviews!
Guideposts Academy 5 Stars
By Patricia Parish
July 8th, 2018
This course an incredible opportunity for me. No university could have done better. So much for so little money. I thank you all so very much. Will be sending something to you all regularly even if all I get is rejections! So grateful for the helpful information, I am tearing up as I write this. Patricia (Pat) Parish, Blessings to the teachers and all your personnel.
Rating: 5 of 5
Quick Course that is Very Helpful
By Barbara Litchfield
April 30th, 2018
This course is excellent! The short recorded sessions with Edward, Rick, Colleen, Jim, and Amy, were full of helpful information for writers in any genre. The workbook download helped me with note taking and reinforced the learning. I also am grateful that I can retake the course whenever I need a refresher. It is definitely worth $24.99.
Rating: 5 of 5
Link to reviews page: https://guideposts-academy.thinkific.com/pages/course-reviews?p=1
If you are looking to improve your writing craft, then I urge you to check out How To Tell A Great Story.
I can’t believe it is almost fall! This summer was a whirlwind for me. How about you?
I spent a tremendous amount of time working on my book, Bible Study, and Podcast. We are putting the final touches on the By His Grace Podcast and will be launching very soon!
Here are some highlights from my last few weeks of summer.
At the end of July, I attended the She Speaks Conference hosted by Proverbs 31 in Charlotte, NC. While there I recorded podcast interviews, participated in writing, speaking, and leadership training sessions, and met with publishing industry experts. One of the highlights of my trip was gathering with several of the A Wife Like Me Contributors.
She Speaks 2018 – A Wife Like Me Contributors
I decided to take a few weeks off from the blog to spend with my family and soak in the last bit of summer and prepare for our upcoming homeschool year.
Peter and Misty Phillip
My youngest son is a Junior in Highschool, and I know my time with him at home is fleeting. He plays Varsity Football, and in Texas football is a big deal. We started five days a week practice in brutally hot weather, and are looking forward to an exciting season.
Tomball Christian Warriors
Masterminds meetings continued at my house. The Hangry Woman, Mila Buckley joined us at my farm table for my monthly mastermind group meeting where we talked about all things Instagram. Mila is a food blogger and influencer who has an amazing Instagram feed.
August Mastermind Meeting
And speaking of Instagram in my absence on the blog, I have been dabbling in some micro-blogging on Instagram. One of my posts caught the attention of an Austrailian Podcaster Anne Marie Cross, aka the “Podcasting Queen,” and she asked me to be a guest on the Ambitious Entrepreneur Network Podcast where we talked about deep wounds and deep grace. We recorded it on Facebook live.
If you missed it, you could listen to the Ambitious Entrepreneur Network Podcast Interview here.
I am excited to be teaching The Struggle is Real, But so is God Bible Study for a connection group in the Biblical-Literacy Life Group for Champion Forest Baptist Church on Wednesday mornings this fall starting on September 12th, and will offer it again to the church at large on Friday mornings in the spring. If you are in the Houston area, I would love for you to join us. For more information email info@MistyPhillip.com.
A look ahead…
This fall I am excited to announce I will be on the launch team for several books and a writing program and have several speaking engagements in the Houston area.
7 Deadly Friendships: How to Heal When Painful Relationships Eat Away at Your Joy by Mary DeMuth
Release Date: October 1, 2018
It’s Okay To Not Be Okay: Moving Forward One Day at a Time by Sheila Walsh
Release Date: October 2, 2018
Cozy Minimalist Home: More Style, Less Stuff by Myquillyn Smith aka “The Nester.”
Release Date: October 23, 2018
Guideposts Writing Course
Stay tuned for more details on all the happenings at Misty Phillip. Be sure to sign up for email updates, so you don’t miss a thing!