by Misty Phillip | Sep 21, 2016 | Christian Living, Faith, Fatherhood, Featured, heart, Life, Motherhood, Parenting
Recently, I was contacted by a friend about how to establish and nurture a healthy relationship with our boys. Over the years, she has watched the way we have raised our boys and has admired our ability to reach them.
I wish I could say, if you do X, Y, and Z, then your kids will turn out perfectly, but that is not the case. Each child comes with their own unique set of abilities, personalities, and temperaments. What works for one child may not work for another.
Prayer
What I do know is that each child is a blessing from the Lord, and He knows our children even better than we do. Pray for your children. Pray for wisdom in reaching their heart, pray for how you may best nurture that child specifically. Pray for your relationship with him, and pray for his relationship with the Lord. One of the greatest joys that I have had as a parent is sharing the love of God with my children, and leading them to Christ.
I once met a woman who remarked how similar my son was to her son. I knew her son, not as a boy, but as a grown man. I have a tremendous amount of respect for this man, and so I asked her what I should do with my son, so he would turn out like her son. I will never forget the response of this wise woman. She said, “Wear your knees out in prayer!” What great advice! It is not only our privilege and a joy to pray for our children, but it is a necessity. We live in a fallen and sinful world, and the enemy wants to destroy our boys.
In John 10:10 we learn, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that [you] may have life and have it abundantly.” Praise Jesus! He came that we may have an abundant life!
Be Intentional
Raising boys who become men who love the Lord doesn’t happen by accident. Having your son’s heart requires intentional parenting. Making wise choices about what our children are exposed to is also very important – cultivate a love of whatever is noble, true, and right. Expose them to good literature and stories about heroes of the faith. Be mindful of what they see on television, computer screens and video games. Emphasize purity of mind, and thought, and deeds.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. – Philippians 4:8 ESV
I think a popular children’s bible song says it best: O be careful little eyes what you see, be careful little ears what you hear, be careful little hands what you do, be careful little feet where you go and be careful little mouth what you say.
Parenting our boys sometimes requires us to make unpopular or counter-cultural choices that are in their best interest. This is why prayer is so necessary so that we can know what is best for our family, and for each individual child.
Communication is Key
Keeping lines of communication open is vitally important. Time spent around the family dining table talking about anything and everything is a great tool for discipleship. We talk to our kids about everything, and we have always encouraged them to communicate honestly with us. As our boys have grown, we have had many important conversations until late at night. I think a huge part of having your child’s heart comes from good communication. I want to make myself available to them, whenever they want to talk.
My friend indicated that she felt like she was missing the mark in reaching her 12-year-old son’s heart. Junior high can be a challenging age! Our once sweet little boys become full of testosterone and start to become men, and they begin to change. Our roles as mom change also, as they pull away from us. It is our job to continue to love, nurture, and pray for them as they become the men God has created them to be. When boys hit junior high age, it is important for the father to become more involved in leading and disciplining his son.
Hard Work and Purpose
Boys require hard physical work. It is good for boys to work hard physically, either in playing sports or manual labor of some kind. I always joke that boys are easy: just feed them well, put a ball or a shovel in their hands, and let them go. They need physical work, but they also crave purpose in their lives and should be challenged intellectually. This will look different for each of us, which is why we should pray for wisdom specifically for each child.
You may also like Wisdom for Parenting Teens and Young Adults
Book Recommendations
There are many good books on parenting. The most important book is The Bible – we must teach them to know and love the Lord and the Word of God. The Bible is our instruction book for life. In addition to the Bible, listed below are some of the books that I have found helpful in raising my boys.
Created for Work, Practical Insights for Young Men – Bob Schultz
Shepherding a Child’s Heart -Ted Tripp
The Power of a Praying Parent -Stormie Omartian
The Ministry of Motherhood and The Mission of Motherhood – Sally Clarkson
Keeping our Children’s Hearts – Steven and Teri Maxwell
Hints on Child Training – H. Clay Trumbull
Bringing Up Boys – Dr. James Dobson
Parenting Beyond the Rules – Connie Albers
Prayerfully this will encourage my friend, and anyone else struggling to reach the heart of their son. What are some other things that you have found are helpful in raising boys? I would love to hear from you.
Much Love,
by Misty Phillip | Sep 12, 2016 | Christian Living, Faith, Featured, Homeschooling, Life
I love my new teapot! It is a beautiful Mckenzie Childs teapot that I have had my eye on for quite some time.
I don’t just love it for its form or its function. What I love about it is what it represents. If I am using my teapot that means I am at home, safely nestled in my sanctuary away from the crazy world in which we live. It is hard to find a quiet spot anywhere in the world. Read about the World being loud here
A proper cup of tea takes time to make, which means that I am slowing down, which is good for my soul. It refreshes me and brings me joy. Today the boys and I are enjoying our wonderful little cups of tea, enjoying the aroma of a beautifully scented candle, while we work and listen to Mozart. I am busy working on my Bible study, while the boys sit near me working on their school.
I am savoring this moment because I know that it is fleeting….
Psalms 27:11 ESV says, “Teach me your way, O Lord”
It is in these quiet moments in my home teaching my boys, that the Lord is teaching me. Teaching me to slow down, and listen to His voice. Teaching me to love them well.
Tomorrow we will be back in the car fighting traffic to get to the other side of town, and we will rush from thing to thing to thing. But today, we sit here in tranquility and civility and sip our tea.
What recharges you? I would love to hear from you! What do you do to help renew your spirit?
by Misty Phillip | Sep 10, 2016 | Christian Living, Faith, Featured, Life
When we were kids on the playground at school, we used to call each other names. Some were terms of endearment, others were not so nice. I can still hear echoes of voices from my childhood saying, “I am rubber and you are glue. What bounces off of me sticks on you.” As we have grown up, we internalize some of the names we have been called.
What names have been STUCK on you? What do you tell yourself about who you are? Which voices do you listen to?
Did you know that you have a very real enemy who likes to call us names and accuse us? In Revelation 12:10, John says:
“And I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying, ‘Now the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God.'”
The enemy tells lies about us and he lies to us. He tells us that we are guilty, unforgiven, not enough. We can either listen to the voice of the accuser, or we can choose to believe we are who the Lord says we are.
In the book of Ephesians chapter 1, we learn about some of the spiritual blessings that we have in Jesus Christ. He has names for us also, and because we are in Christ we are:
Blessed
Chosen
Predestined
Adopted by Christ
Accepted in the beloved
Redeemed
Forgiven
Enlightened
Given an Inheritance
Glorified in Christ
Sealed
Assured
We have:
Faith in Christ
Wisdom in Him
Hope in Christ
Power in Christ
Ephesians 1 (ESV)
1 Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, To the saints who are in Ephesus, and are faithful in Christ Jesus: 2 Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
Spiritual Blessings in Christ
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, 4 even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love 5 he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, 6 to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. 7 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace,8 which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight 9 making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ 10 as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.
11 In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, 12 so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. 13 In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, 14 who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it to the praise of his glory.
Thanksgiving and Prayer
15 For this reason, because I have heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love toward all the saints, 16 I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers, 17 that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him,18 having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, 19 and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might 20 that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, 21 far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come. 22 And he put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church,23 which is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all.
Aren’t you so glad that we have the voice of truth? And if you are in Christ, then his character qualities are your real identity! Regardless of what names we are called by ourselves or by others, we need to be secure in the knowledge that we have inherent value and worth because we belong to Christ!
by Misty Phillip | Sep 3, 2016 | Christian Living, Faith, Featured, Life
*** UPDATE 2017 ***
I posted this last year on Labor Day weekend. What a difference a year makes! In the wake of Hurricane Harvey, life, as we know it on the Texas Gulf Coast, is far from normal. Yet this post still resonates with me on this Labor Day Weekend, but for different reasons. I still need to show myself some grace, because as much as I would like for things to get back to normal, things are still a little topsy turvy right now, and I need more grace than ever.
____________________________________________________________________________________________
I am my own worst critic and tend to be very hard on myself! What about you?
My type-A personality drives me to accomplish much, and I have a difficult time relaxing. I set up very high expectations for myself and then feel defeated if I don’t live up to my self-imposed “righteous” standards. I put unrealistic expectations on myself and my family. I think my house should always be spotless, and that my kids should always behave and do what I think they should do. I drive myself to perfection, especially when I undertake any outside projects or events. I work myself up into a frenzy and push myself to exhaustion.
I believe it is a biblical concept to strive for excellence in all we do, and I get this from 1 Corinthians 10:31:
“So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”
[ctt template=”2″ link=”4cYBr” via=”yes” ]It is a good thing to want to do everything to the glory of God and to strive for excellence.[/ctt]
However, if I am so hard on myself that I feel guilt or shame because I haven’t lived up to my own expectations, then I am only hurting myself.
This week in Bible Study, we discussed our battle with sin and the power that we have as Christians to live a life pleasing to God based on Romans 8. The first thing we read is Romans 8:1.
“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
I don’t know why I expect perfection from myself—the only perfect person to ever walk this earth was Jesus. Not only that, but He came here to save me. He came to set me free from the bondage of sin and death, and He doesn’t want me to feel condemnation.
[ctt template=”2″ link=”p5WKw” via=”yes” ]I am beginning to learn to have grace with myself when things don’t go as I have planned.[/ctt] I am human, and I am going to make mistakes.
Romans 3:23, says “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”
Most likely, I will continue to disappoint myself and others along the way, but I don’t have to feel condemned. I must choose to believe that I am flawed, but forgiven.
[ctt template=”2″ link=”GSNW_” via=”yes” ]Does anyone else struggle to show themselves grace or am I alone in this battle? [/ctt]
Today, I choose to show myself grace. Instead of driving myself to perfection, I elected to enjoy this Labor Day weekend with my family, and try to catch up on some much-needed rest.
I hope you enjoy a wonderful Labor Day weekend and find rest in God this week!
by Misty Phillip | Aug 4, 2016 | Christian Living, Featured
Our world has gotten so loud! My husband remarked how quiet our home was not too long ago when we lost power in the middle of the night. There was no hum of electronics, no noise from the television, or music. No movement or noise outside. Just peace and quiet.
It is hard to find a quiet spot anywhere in the world!
We are bombarded with noise everywhere we go. We walk out the door, and there is the sound of dogs barking, lawn mowers and blowers, construction, and cars. We get in the car to go somewhere, and the road is loud with cars and trucks. We are bombarded with noise everywhere we go. Modern technology has created so much noise, that is is hard to find solace. There are even television screens with infomercials playing at the gas pump.
It is not just audible noise, but the visual noise that distracts us. I stand at the checkout counter at the grocery store, and I am bombarded with magazine images of perfect homes, and perfect people, with perfect bodies and perfect clothes. Happiness is not found in the noise. True fulfillment comes in the quiet time. I recently wrote a blog post on the importance of quiet time, you can read it Here.
Our world is busy and loud and absent in silence. When we find silence, it is in the quiet places that we can shut the world out and hear from God.
I really enjoyed my time away at She Speaks, because I had a hotel room to myself. So I had a lot of quiet time alone with the Lord. As a busy mom, it is hard to find quiet time. I live in a house full of boys, and it can be wild and loud, and silence is hard to come by.
God can speak to us in many ways. There is one place in scripture that talks about hearing from God, as the “the still small voice” in the KJV or the low whisper in the ESV.
1 Kings 19:11-13, says “And he said, “Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And behold, there came a voice to him and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?””
The Lord spoke to Elijah, not in the wind, or the earthquake, or the fire. But the Lord spoke to Elijah in the sound of a low whisper. There are other places in scripture that the Lord speaks through the whirlwind, the earthquake, or with a voice like thunder. And in the last days, Hebrews says that God speaks to us through his Son. So, why did he speak to Elijah in a whisper? The ESV Study Bible says, “God reveals himself in quietness.”
So as the world grows louder, my prayer for you and for me is that we will find time for quiet, find time for solitude, find time to be by yourself so that you can listen for and hear the still small voice of God.
by Misty Phillip | Jul 27, 2016 | Christian Living, Faith, Featured, She Speaks
I just returned from She Speaks 2016 Conference. All I can say is, “Wow!” What a special experience! The Proverbs 31 Ministry team did an incredible job of bringing together women of all ages, stages and seasons of life—women with different religious backgrounds, but a similar calling to make Jesus famous. Our worship time was amazing! This, to me, was a glimpse of what I imagine heaven will be like.
There were around 700 women in attendance, with about 500 of them were first-time attendees and another 100 or so in staff, presenters, and publishers. The really incredible thing is that there were over a 1,000 women on the waitlist that were not able to make it. Every woman in attendance was prayed for by name, and I knew the Lord had chosen me to be there. The prayer room there is a very special place, where a basket lay on a table with tiny scrolls of scripture printed for the attendees. I want to share with you the scripture that I chose:
“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” Proverbs 31:25
I had several takeaways from the conference that I want to share with you. If you are in women’s ministry, writing, speaking or leading and you are interested in attending She Speaks, get on the waiting list for next year now. The conference fills up very quickly. It is completely worth the time and money to invest in your calling. She Speaks is a truly unique experience and you will be blessed. One of the best parts is the community—I met some of the sweetest Jesus girls, and I know we will be longtime friends!
The most significant thing for me was that God confirmed my calling to continue with my writing and blogging. I was given confidence in that calling and began to realize that my voice matters. I know I need to be strong and courageous in moving forward and continue to share Jesus in my sphere of influence. Writing, blogging, and especially speaking has really stretched me in my walk with Jesus. Another thing I learned was that God allows gaps in our calling on purpose so that we abide in Him. Not every part of this journey will be in my sweet spot. As I continue to step out in faith, obedience brings blessings. I look forward to what the Lord has planned for the future!
by Misty Phillip | Jul 7, 2016 | Featured
In Jesus we have everything we need, because He is everything! And through Him and in the Knowledge of Him, we have everything that we need in order to live a life that is pleasing to Him!
“His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire.” – 2 Peter 1:3-5, English Standard Version
He has given us such great promises. Left to my own devices, I am a big mess! Our world is hurting, and is an even bigger mess. I need more of Jesus, and today I am claiming those promises for myself and for my family, and it is my prayer that you will claim the promises that His Word as for you today!
by Misty Phillip | Jun 29, 2016 | Christian Living, Faith, Featured
Choosing joy in the midst of difficult circumstances is not always easy, but it is what the Lord commands us to do.
“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.” – Philippians 4:4
We can rejoice no matter what circumstance comes our way, because of the great love that Jesus has for us, in that while we were full of sin, he chooses to lay down his life to save us. Jesus has forgiven our sins and cleansed us from all unrighteousness. Through his death, burial, and resurrection we have divine power to choose joy, no matter our circumstance.
In the many years, I have been alive, I have experienced many difficult trials. From having the monumental task of raising a special needs son, to the death of those closest to me—my Mom and Dad, my Mother-in-law and Father-in-law, my brother, several babies, and dear friends. Other tragic situations happened as well, like family problems, marriage problems, health problems, terrible accidents, financial difficulties, church splits, and just the overall effects of sin in a lost and fallen world. Life can be downright, and if though you have walked on this earth very long, I can guarantee that you have had some sort of trouble in your life.
“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” – James 1:2-5
[ctt template=”2″ link=”k8i3o” via=”yes” ]Whatever problems seek to plague us in life, we are told to COUNT IT ALL JOY![/ctt]
We all face trials of different kinds. Our struggles and challenges may be similar or different than our friends’ and neighbors’, but we all face difficult times. These challenges test our faith, and as we endure these trials it produces a life of faithful endurance. That steadfastness then helps make us more Christlike and conforms us to the image of God, which is a gift from God to make us whole and bring us to maturity in our spiritual walk.
Horatio Spafford penned the beautiful lyrics to the song “It is Well with My Soul” after a Job-like tragedy struck his life when he lost his son at age two in the Great Chicago Fire. The fire financially ruined him and then shortly afterward, all four of his daughters perished in a shipwreck crossing the Atlantic. Horatio could have become consumed with anger, bitterness or regret, yet he chose to have joy and to praise the Lord! In this life we will have struggles, but how will we respond? We will choose joy? May we learn from his example!
“It is Well with My Soul”
When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Refrain:
It is well, (it is well),
With my soul, (with my soul)
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Was nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life,
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
But Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul.
And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so it is well with my soul!
by Misty Phillip | Jun 22, 2016 | Featured
In February of this year, I took a gigantic leap of faith, and in the midst of an already crazy busy life, I answered God’s call to a writing/speaking/blogging ministry. I am super excited and busy preparing for the Proverbs 31 Ministries’ She Speaks Conference. She Speaks is a speaking and writing conference in North Carolina that I am attending in mid-July with several hundred other women from across the country.
I wanted to share all that I am working on with you. Including, everything that is currently going on in my life, so that you all can join me in prayer as I prepare for the conference. My first priority is my relationship with my Lord and ministering to my husband and children, then to friends, and everything else after. So I am busy cooking, cleaning, and taking Connor to therapy multiple times a week. Also, I am continuing to post weekly here on my blog, and I have joined A Beautiful Life Ministry as a monthly contributor. Where I have the honor and privilege to work with other writers from across the United States and Canada to send out a daily devotion to minister to women in all walks of life. I am also currently in a Ladies’ Bible study studying the book of Romans.
In the past month and a half, I started writing a Bible Study about being an Overcomer. I plan to pitch my Bible study in a book proposal to the publishers that I am meeting with at the conference. This is a whole new world for me, and there is so much to learn! The Lord has been faithful to walk me through each step of the way, and I am learning so much in the process. So in addition to all of the things I talked about above, I am also working on writing the Bible Study, a book proposal, and marketing materials. Since I am on the speaking track, I have also written a 5-minute message that will be critiqued in a group setting. I am planning to present that teaching to a few life groups at my church in the coming weeks, but I am scared to death to speak in front of people!! I would appreciate extra prayers as I work on overcoming this fear.
Whenever we step out in faith to do something for the Lord, the enemy sets his sights on trying to discourage or disrupt us. My husband compared my recent adventures to Frodo in The Lord Of The Rings. When Frodo and Sam are in Mount Doom in Mordor, to destroy the ring, and Frodo puts the ring on, the eye of Sauron becomes laser-focused on him, and destroying Frodo is all he desires. So it is with the adversary scheming to distract me from what God has called me to do.
Let me share a few things that have occurred in the past few weeks since I have been preparing for the conference:
- Chaos in our home caused by the Master Bedroom and Bathroom remodel
- Very expensive car problems on Jacob’s car and his loaner car
- Phantom phone software problems on my phone: My phone was sitting next to me on the table while I was working on my computer when all of a sudden maps opened up, and suddenly my full name and address appeared on my phone, then WordPress, Facebook, and email. It looked like someone was hacking my phone.
- The Transformer in backyard caught on fire. We lost power, and more importantly, A/C in 100 degrees plus weather!
- I fell on the concrete coming out of church on Sunday on my previously broken arms, scraped my hands and knee, and bruised my hip. Ouch!
- Woke up to a house full of water on our wood floor that will require extensive repairs
I’m not too sure what else will try to distract me in the coming weeks, but all of this makes me even more confident that I am doing exactly what the Lord wants me to do! I would so appreciate your prayers for my family and me in the coming weeks.
For more information about the conference, you can visit the conference website.
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