I am tickled pink to invite Tracy Steel to By His Grace this week! We had a great time on the podcast, Tracy and I talk about the struggle of being a military wife on the move. Tracy provides some practical tips on how to make friends fast and build community and we dive deep into what God has taught her in Episode 32: Tracy Steel: On the Move. Today I welcome Tracy to the blog to talk about letting go of her husband as he leaves to go on a mission.

Please welcome Tracy Steel!

Why I let my husband go… so that others may live

By Tracy Steel

When I started dating my handsome Air Force pilot back in 2007, others warned me to consider marrying him carefully. It had nothing to do with him, personally. But because military life is not the easiest type of lifestyle. Not growing up in a military family, I honestly had no idea what I was walking into. Or what I would be asking my future children to walk through. But I fell in love with Chad Steel anyway. Regardless of his rank or the uniform he wears, my husband is a mighty man of faith and character. And he is hawt. Yes, I know this is not the correct way to spell the word “hot”, but he is VERY handsome, so he gets his own spelling of the word. I am thankful Misty has not edited this important detail from this paragraph.

Chad and I have been married for eleven years now and have moved six times during those eleven years. We have two beautiful children, and as I shared on the podcast the one thing that has truly has kept me going and guided me throughout our marriage with all of its moves and time apart is my faith in Christ.  

So early on in our marriage, as like within the first month, I had to face a reality that I didn’t want to think about. At that point in our marriage, God had called my husband to fight a physical enemy is a physical battle. And there was a possibility that he may not come back home alive to me after a future deployment. Talk about taking me to a whole new level of trust with God! But as I worked through this in the months and years that followed, my perspective started to change. Which was good, for two years later I had to hold my husband in my arms as tears fell from his eyes. He had made it back, but others did not.

Here is what happened and what God has helped me to see….

I could feel the lump in my throat. The silence was deafening. The American flag looked stunning as it waved against the cloudless sky. A lone trumpet began to play. My husband’s shaky hand grabbed my own hand that was filled with crumpled tissues. As I turned to look him, I saw tears streaming down his cheeks. I did not want them to touch his flight suit, so I quickly wiped them away. Once again, I noticed his silver wings placed across his upper left chest and over his heart. To the world, they are symbols of his heroism and dedication to protecting our great nation. To me, they symbolize his flights in combat and his return home, alive. As I pondered this, my own tears began to fall. As one of my fellow Air Force wives made her way up to the microphone, I began to weep. It didn’t matter that I had never met her before. I wept, because we were at her husband’s memorial service. On June 17th, 2010, we honored a hero that willingly gave his life, so “that others may live.”

“It is my duty as an Air Rescueman to save life and to aid the injured. I will be prepared at all times to perform my assigned duties quickly and efficiently, placing these duties before personal desires and comforts. These things I do, that others may live.” Brig Gen Richard Kight

This is the actual motto of the Combat Search and Rescue (CSAR) community of the US Air Force. Being a part of this community, and the military, in general, has certainly made our lives interesting. For example, the military moves us every 2-3 years. This has provided us with incredible new friends from all over the United States who love and support us. We are truly blessed.

Unfortunately, despite the many blessings, military life has also created a few challenges for me. Given that our country has been at war for a while now, I grow weary of the impending deployments that are ever-present in our daily reality. I have allowed fear, the fear of my husband dying in combat, to haunt me at times. I especially struggled with this during our first year of marriage, when I had become pregnant right before my new husband was sent overseas. Several years later, we attended the memorial service I mentioned above, and my fears resurfaced.

What I have come to learn about this particular area of my life is this: if my husband does not deploy, someone else’s husband, father, son, or brother may not come back from combat alive. This is what he trained for. He and the rest of his crew members are ready to sacrifice everything, so “that others may live.” This truth touches my heart and quiets my fear. Deployments take on a new meaning when I keep this in the forefront in my mind.

Additionally, in the process of overcoming, I re-examined my beliefs pertaining to death. As a Christian, it reminds me that death is not to be feared. I have trusted in Jesus Christ and His sacrifice for me on the cross. I believe that death is not the end for me, it is only the beginning. As Easter approaches, I am reminded that Jesus’ empty tomb took the sting of death away. Because my husband believes the same, his deployments take on a new meaning once again.

Let me be clear: I am not claiming to be Superwoman. I know that this fear will rise again. Why will it? Because I am human, that is why! I want to grow old with Chad. I want to watch our children mature and become the people God created them to be. I am human, but by working through my fear, I have realized the wondrous calling that God has given to my husband, and am reminded that my faith will sustain me should I become the heart-broken wife speaking into the microphone one day.

And if Chad and I do get to grow old together, then I pray that I will never forget June 17th, 2010. It taught me not to take any moments with my husband for granted. It reminded me of how precious life is, and that I have to let my husband deploy in order to preserve it.

This post is also dedicated to my fellow military wives. May you be encouraged as you wait for your husband to return home. For those who have buried their hero, I grieve your loss. May you experience God’s comfort for the rest of your days.

Tracy Steel graduated from Kansas State University with a BS in interior design in 1998 and has a master’s degree in biblical and theological studies from Phoenix Seminary. As a project designer, Tracy created and coordinated the design and space planning of commercial spaces for clients such as Bank One, Wells Fargo, Express Scripts, DHS, and Lockheed Martin. Moving from one type of interior design to another, Tracy then worked in full-time youth ministry, serving as the director of female students at Scottsdale Bible Church.

God’s true design for Tracy now involves improving the interior space of the hearts and minds of women around her. This military wife and mother of two enjoys linking up with other bloggers, leading Bible studies at her local church, and speaking at various moms’ groups and women’s ministries events nationwide.

She is also the author of A Redesigned Life, and Images of His Beauty, a 10-week Bible study for young women that focuses on identity, overcoming and healing through Christ, and bearing the image of Christ.

Tracy’s Social Media Links:

I am so delighted to welcome Brian Dixon to By His Grace this week! I have looked up to Brian as an online mentor through the Hopewriter’s Community and I am a huge fan of the message of his new book Start With Your People. Earlier this week we had a fantastic conversation on the podcast People Problems with Brian Dixon.

Please welcome Brian to the blog.

Show Up And Serve

By Brian Dixon

Imagine if you could look at your life and work on being on a mission for people. Imagine if your goal were to make their day and to help them win the day. Not only would your life be fulfilling, but you would be rewarded for your efforts. Your company would grow, you would get promoted, and you would feel a sense of fulfillment far beyond anything you’ve experienced before. 

Be on a mission for people. 

When you are on a mission, even the most mundane task has a weighty level of importance. Delivering a meal to a family who just had a baby, pumping gas for an ambulance, or setting up an internet connection so a dying family member can make a video call to their loved ones one last time. Your contribution is monumental when the stakes are high. 

Don’t have any connections? Show up and serve.

Tired of the job hunt? Show up and serve.

Can’t get anyone on the phone? Show up and serve.

Showing up and serving will open up new opportunities and make a massive difference in your life and in the lives of others. 

Let’s take a look at Mike’s story. Mike is a great marketer and copywriter, but he wasn’t always that way. He started out as a musician and worship leader for his church. His day job, as the head of marketing for an educational company, was slowly killing him. Something needed to change if he was ever going to live a life he loved. He signed up for Michael Hyatt’s Platform Conference, where he met an expert copywriter named Ray Edwards. Ray, a legend in his industry, was making a transition from client work to coaching and teaching. Mike recognized the opportunity for mentorship, and he went all in. He invested in Ray’s most expensive mentorship program. He followed Ray’s teaching and became his best student. He did everything he could to serve Ray: helping at his events, promoting his programs, and assisting Ray’s clients. And Ray noticed. Before too long, Ray was using Mike as a case study.

Mike’s success was Ray’s success. Once Mike had proven his value to Ray, a consistent stream of clients followed.

Ray began to refer hundreds of thousands of dollars’ worth of client work to Mike. Ray was the Big Domino for Mike. Mike has now become one of the best-known copywriters in his industry. And it all started with Ray. Influential people like Ray maintain a tight-knit circle. They are used to people asking for things from them all the time, so they’ve learned to be a little guarded. The key in reaching influencers is to build a relationship with them. It’s simply a matter of paying your dues. Influential people have a lot to lose if you waste their time, so they are naturally more skeptical. But once you have shown value for one influential person, they introduce you to their network, and other opportunities begin to fall in your lap.

Consider Their Goals 

Everyone has a goal. If you’re trying to build a relationship with an influencer at a conference, figure out her goal for the conference. If she’s an author, she likely wants to make a connection with her readers, sell more books, deliver a smooth presentation, and collect names for her email list. Each one of these goals has several volunteer opportunities. Showing up and serving is as easy as getting there a little early and offering to help set up the book table or staying a little later and offering to carry books back to the car. It’s amazing the difference a helping hand can make when offered at the right time.

The same is true with companies you might want to work for. Consider their goals. Most companies publish their goals in their annual report, on their website, or on their social media accounts. If the goal is to become the industry leader in the region, consider ways you might help them reach their goal. Maybe it’s introducing a new contact, recommending a vendor, volunteering at a trade show, or serving alongside them in their community outreach efforts.

Ideas to Consider

• Show up and serve people right where you are, right now, and your mission will follow.
• Figuring out your purpose starts with finding out how you can help your people.
• Offering a solution to someone’s problem often leads to connections, business, and opportunity.
• The knowledge you have gained from your experiences is valuable to people who are just starting out. The things you think are simple and easy can be complicated and overwhelming for others.
• People will invest in you when you show up and serve.

Actions to Take

• Research the goals of a company you would like to work for, and write down ways you can help them reach their goals.
• Begin asking, “What are you working through?” in your interactions with others. Discover what they are struggling with and figure out how you can help.
• Make a list of specific ways you can serve others in your life.

Brian believes you are here for a purpose. As a podcaster, conference speaker, and business coach, Brian is passionate about helping high potential leaders and teams thrive in a world of overwhelming options. He has a doctoral degree from the University of San Diego. You can learn more about his coaching and access free, downloadable resources at BrianDixon.com

Join Brian to discover the people-first mindset that changes everything, including:

Brian has encouraged me to look for ways to better serve people, and I hope his message encourages you too!

Come back next week for more encouragement to empower you with wisdomand encourage you through the struggles of life.

Much Love,