By His Grace
Lisa Appelo: Life Can Be Good Again

Lisa Appelo: Life Can Be Good Again

On this episode of the By HIs Grace podcast, Misty Phillip sits down with Lisa Appelo, widow, and mother to seven amazing children. As a member of Widow Mama Collective, a Facebook community for young widows. she helps women find hope in the hard places of loss. A popular blogger, Lisa loves seeing women flourish in the strength of God’s promises.

Lisa shares the story of suddenly losing her husband, and how her life was shattered into a million pieces. Lisa shares how we can walk alongside grieving people. Whether it is the loss of a dream, or the tragic loss of a loved one. Lisa shares wisdom on what we can do, and say when others are grieving a loss.

Key Takeaways

“Nothing we can say can really comfort the way we want it too. We can’t fix them.”
Don’t say things like…
“At least you are young enough to remarry.” or “At least you’ll see them again.”
“They rush someone through their pain and try to slap on a platitude to explain it. Not saying anything is better.”
What you can do…
Offer to pray specifically for them.
Don’t discount the small practical ways you can help. There are a lot of tangible ways to walk alongside someone with grief.
“I was just so utterly dependent on God.”
Lament says..
I don’t understand, but I trust you. Through lamenting Lisa would
Cry out to the Lord. Pray. Ask hard questions. Get in the word.
How can you move forward in faith beyond fear.
We wonder if God will be faithful to us, and that is fear. Take your thoughts captive and replace the lies.

How can we re-shape our broken hearts? Sometimes we need to borrow hope.

These are places of deep Spiritual warfare.

Give yourself permission to grieve. There are no short cuts through losses in life. Active grief is exhausting. Give yourself space to grieve.

ABOUT THE BOOK

What do you do when you are suddenly navigating a life you didn’t sign up for? Lisa Appelo understands deeply. She’s experienced the raw emotions and uncertainty that come when everything falls apart. Lisa went to bed married and woke up a widow and single mom to seven children. She wrestled with impossible questions about her future–and then found life-changing answers that gave her the strength to move forward with true joy.

With compassion and rich biblical insight, Lisa will help you:

· find your footing when circumstances bring massive change;
· process hard emotions with God, who welcomes them;
· overcome paralyzing fear with three scriptural steps; and
· anchor your faith when your hope seems threadbare.

Your unexpected future may feel like Plan B, but it’s God’s purposeful Chapter Two for you as He reshapes your shattered heart. With each tender, intentional step, you’ll see you will not merely survive this, but that life can be good again.

Resources

Life Can Be Good Again: Putting Your World Back Together After Your World Falls Apart – Bethany House

Begin reading Chapter One for FREE!

Scripture References

“We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,” – 2 Corinthians 10:5 ESV

“And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:19 ESV

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” – James 1:2-4 ESV

“For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison,  as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”  – 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 ESV

Connect with Lisa

Website | Instagram | Twitter | Pinterest

Grace for the Grieving: Three Lessons from Loss 

Grace for the Grieving: Three Lessons from Loss 

Grace for the Grieving: Three Lessons from Loss 

by Baylee Dunn

I remember it as if it were yesterday, though it has been several months since God called my grandfather home after a long, hard-fought battle with stage four cancer. It felt like the world around me was crumbling as I got the news. “Baylee, Popa passed away tonight.” I lay still on the brown leather couch in our living room, clinching a blanket with both hands, praying that I was in a dream. 

Instead, it was a reality. A man whom I loved with every ounce of my being had breathed his last and ascended into Heaven. Grief rushed in like roaring floodwaters on that dark March night. Tears rushed down my face in a torrential downpour. My body shook violently as I sobbed. Thoughts came spiraling through my mind. “He’s going to miss my college graduation. He will not be there to dance at my wedding one day. I will never hear him sing “Happy Birthday” with the passion and style of Elvis Presley again.” 

So much loss… 

At that moment, I could not imagine a world without him in it. To be honest, I still have a hard time with each passing milestone. Though my grandfather is in Heaven, my heart aches for him here on Earth. It is an ache that I know will not easily fade. I will carry it with me through each of my days. There will be sorrow, there will be sadness, but with God, I will move toward gladness. 

Three lessons that I have learned from my season of grief

Here are three lessons that I have learned from my season of grief. I pray that my words encourage you to cling to the Lord, even when it is hard. If you are grieving today, know that there is grace for you in that sacred space, friend. May the Lord hold you close, draw you near, and remind you that even in suffering, He is still here. 

  1. In times of sorrow, the Lord may feel distant. However, He is ever-present. 

The Bible tells us that the Lord is close to the broken-hearted. With His nearness, comes the peace that only he can provide. He will hold you, dry your tears, and give gentle reminders that He is still here. 

  1. Where there is deep grief, there is great love. 

When experiencing loss, it can sometimes feel as if the sadness is impossible to release. It runs deep. If ever you find yourself deep in grief, remember that the Lord will sustain you. You are loved in this space, too. 

  1. Where there is hurt, there is a healer. No grief is too big for God’s grace to cover. 

One of the most comforting promises to cling to during a season of grief is that which is found in Revelation 21:4-5. I pray that this passage encourages you to focus on the Lord during hardship. He will heal your hurt and hold you upright. 

“4 He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. 5 And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” 

Be blessed, friends! 

Baylee Dunn

If you enjoyed this post, I would appreciate your shares on social media. Also, I love mentoring Baylee and having her guest post for me. She is such a joy! Speaking of joy, you may also enjoy my recent By His Grace podcast with the author of Joykeeper: 6 Truths that Change Everything You Thought You Knew About Joy, Suzanne Eller. Check out the episode Joy in Jesus.

Much Love, Misty

Lauren Birchmire: From Grief to Grace

Lauren Birchmire: From Grief to Grace

Episode 10: Lauren White Birchmire – From Grief to Grace

Lauren and her husband David suffered the loss of their first child at three and a half weeks old, their daughter Makena to a heart defect.  Lauren went from not wanting a memorial service; to speaking at the memorial for nearly twenty minutes. Lauren clung to the hope found in Romans 15:13.  As a result, God began working in this devastation. 

A vast part of their healing has come through Celebrate Recovery. A twelve-step Christian based program that has helped Lauren navigate her anxiety and grief, and has helped her husband overcome alcoholism and pornography. 

 

Finding Purpose After the Pain

Finding Purpose After the Pain

When we give God the brokenness and pain we endure in this life, and we allow him to heal our hearts, we become beautiful instruments of his love and grace. This week on the podcast my guest Stephanie Scott shares the painful wounds of losing a child, and how God’s amazing grace brought healing and comfort in her life. Today on the blog she shares how God took one of life’s most difficult losses and turned it for good. Stephanie recounts how she now has found purpose in pain.



by Stephanie Scott

Writing this was beyond my wildest imagination almost 20 years ago. There is a picture from then of me holding my tiny infant son while he took his last breath on earth. In the picture, tears are pouring down a face full of despair with a bright smile for the camera. 

     My son, Wyn, was to be my only biological child on earth.  Despite every heartbreaking effort in my quest to “be a mother.”  Accepting God’s will in this was as far from reality as the desert is from the sea.

      I won’t pretend it has been quick or easy. The anger I felt at God churned through my belly with a ferocity matched by the fires hell in intensity. 

      But I put a pretty face on for the world. I figuratively buried my pain so deep and covered it with concrete. Then spread rich and fertile soil. The seeds planted were sprinkled with the rain of held back tears. So the flowers could bloom in a brilliant hue.  For years I coasted in this way.

      Through God, the grief and anger escaped through the cracks in the concrete and porous nature of soil though. Little by little letting go and learning what He’s saying so. God ‘s staying power over dismaying power every time.

Through God, the grief and anger escaped through the cracks in the concrete and porous nature of soil though. Little by little letting go and learning what He’s saying so. God ‘s staying power over dismaying power every time. Click To Tweet

        Now I am the team mom for Reinhardt University football where my husband is the Defensive Coordinator. I held my son and know the love I have for the players entrusted to me is no different. 

       When people thank me for what I do them, I always answer, “Oh, I am the blessed one.” And mean it! They call me Mama Scott and their love for me is all my mama’s heart ever needed.

       Some of these boys come from such broken circumstances.  The mothering I give is the first they have ever known.  A lot of them are learning about Christ’s love for the first time too. The best part of my job is praying for them and watching them come to Christ.  

        I am like the little old lady that lived in the shoe except God shows me what to do. All I ever yearned for was another son, and God has given me hundreds     

        It is just like it promises in Jer. 29:11.  “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

There is meaning and purpose in tragedy, and it IS God’s greatest blessing. My smiles now are not for the camera.


Stephanie Scott is a coach’s Tommy’s wife and team mom at Reinhardt University. Stephanie’s motto is faith, family, friends, football, and service. You can find out more about Stephanie on her blog www.hopeshaping.com      

Choosing Joy in Grief

Choosing Joy in Grief

When I met this week’s By His Grace Podcast guest Tricia Thirey, she radiated Jesus. Tricia Thirey is a young widow and mom to three children six and under.  In 2013 her husband Ben was diagnosed with brain cancer and underwent his first surgery.  He retired from the military in 2016 and they moved back to Ohio to be near family where he began his third battle with brain cancer.  He passed away in the summer of 2017. Since his passing Tricia shares many life lessons of love and loss with others. She enjoys sharing her journey and all that God is teaching her with others on her blog.  

Today Tricia shares wisdom about not being afraid and knowing you are not alone.

 


You are Not Alone

 by Tricia Thirey

You know that time when you shared your heart with that friend because the struggle you were facing seemed to be too big to handle on your own?  You needed a sounding board and someone to hear all the anxieties and worries and tell you that you were not alone?

Maybe you didn’t need advice or even someone to respond, but just to know that someone else knew your struggles and was there if you needed them.  I have been in that place more times than I can possibly count.  Sitting in my not so quiet house longing for someone to talk to and hear my struggles.  Someone who could tell me that while they may not be able to relate, they understand the place I am and I am not alone.

I am thankful that God has sent those people into my life this past year to fill the void left by losing Ben.  While it will never be the same as having him here, I appreciate their willingness to listen, their attempts to relate, and they are loving me through whatever the struggle was.  And most importantly, their praying for me to find peace in the midst of whatever that struggle was.

Somehow, when we are able to voice those struggles and concerns with someone else, it seems to lessen the burden that those struggles have on us.  Even when they can’t relate, having someone to listen keeps me from feeling alone.

But more importantly, I have also learned to rely on my heavenly father this year in those quiet times when there is no one around who can relate or understand.  He also reminds me that I am not alone in that place.  All throughout scripture I see people who thought they were alone in their struggles and pains and needed to be reminded that God was with them no matter what they were facing.

The book of Joshua is one of those places that I keep going back to these days.  Repeatedly throughout the first chapter of Joshua as we see God outlining his plan for Joshua and reminding him to not be afraid because He would be with him.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 Click To Tweet

I am not alone. 

Even on the days when it feels like no one understands, no one can relate, and no one feels my pain.

There is a heavenly Father who is right there, understanding, relating and who lifts me back up so that I know I can continue to make it through.  And I am grateful for those friends who have surrounded me this year and have pushed me to remember that even when they are not with me, HE is.  And He will never leave me alone.

http://choosingjoyineverymoment.com 


 

Isn’t it so comforting to know we are never alone! God is always with us and he is always there to see us through our difficulties. We only have to call upon his name. My friend, I don’t know where you are right now, or what you are going through, but I want you to know that God sees you in the midst of your struggle. He loves you and He will never leave you or forsake you! All you have to do is call upon His name.

Much Love,

 

 

Misty Phillip

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